Status
Available
Call number
Publication
Random House Digital
Description
Biography & Autobiography. Family & Relationships. True Crime. Nonfiction. HTML: The acclaimed New York Times bestseller by Sue Klebold, mother of one of the Columbine shooters, about living in the aftermath of Columbine. On April 20, 1999, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Over the course of minutes, they would kill twelve students and a teacher and wound twenty-four others before taking their own lives. For the last sixteen years, Sue Klebold, Dylan�??s mother, has lived with the indescribable grief and shame of that day. How could her child, the promising young man she had loved and raised, be responsible for such horror? And how, as his mother, had she not known something was wrong? Were there subtle signs she had missed? What, if anything, could she have done differently? These are questions that Klebold has grappled with every day since the Columbine tragedy. In A Mother�??s Reckoning, she chronicles with unflinching honesty her journey as a mother trying to come to terms with the incomprehensible. In the hope that the insights and understanding she has gained may help other families recognize when a child is in distress, she tells her story in full, drawing upon her personal journals, the videos and writings that Dylan left behind, and on countless interviews with mental health experts. Filled with hard-won wisdom and compassion, A Mother�??s Reckoning is a powerful and haunting book that sheds light on one of the most pressing issues of our time. And with fresh wounds from the Newtown and Charleston shootings, never has the need for understanding been more urgent. Includes a PDF of acknowledgments and resources from the book. All author profits from the book will be donated to research and to charitable organizations focusing on mental health issues. �?? Washington Post, Best Memoirs of 2016… (more)
Media reviews
Klebold’s powerful urge to defend herself all these years was surpassed only by her desire to disappear. She felt she was “cringing like a frightened animal” in the months and years after the tragedy, suffering panic attacks so debilitating she came to understand her son’s suicidal
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impulses. She lost 25 pounds, numbly stumbling through radiation for breast cancer but refusing chemotherapy because she was, all agreed, too broken to survive it. Eventually, Klebold found her way forward with a mission of suicide prevention, and she provides a precise education on the subject in “A Mother’s Reckoning.” She earns our pity, our empathy and, often, our admiration; and yet the book’s ultimate purpose is to serve as a cautionary tale, not an exoneration. Show Less
User reviews
LibraryThing member Dianekeenoy
This book is a heart breaker. My daughter bought two copies of this book by mistake and very generously gave one copy to me. It should have been pretty far down my pile of TBR, since I have 6 library books piled up, 2 books to read and review, and hundreds of my own books piled up all around me.
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However, I looked into the book and started reading and while I would have to sometimes put it down to take a breathe, I couldn't start another book until I finished this one. Sue Klebold is the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the shooters in the Columbine killings. This is her story of trying to find out what happened to make her son do such a thing. The introduction by Andrew Solomon is frightening. He, like almost everyone else, thought the worst of the Klebold family and the son they raised. What in world went on in their world to turn out a child who would kill other children? He says, "The ultimate message of this book is terrifying; you may not know your own children, and, worse yet, your children may be unknowable to you. The stranger you fear may be your own son or daughter." Sue Klebold wrote this book to try and find out what caused her son to change from the golden haired boy to one of the Columbine killers. The author's profits all go to research and charitable organizations focusing on mental health issues. Definitely recommended but difficult to read. Show Less
LibraryThing member arielfl
I knew this was going to be wrenching to read after seeing Sue Klebold speak in her 20/20 interview. As she spoke to Diane Sawyer she looked completely wrecked and my heart went out to her. I read Dave Cullen's Columbine book a few years ago and it covered all aspects of the tragedy (except for the
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fact that there is some controversy over whether bullying took place at Columbine). The only thing it didn't cover was the perspective of the parents. The biggest question everyone had for them was how could you not know what your children were planning. The Harris's have been silent but Sue wrote an article for O Magazine a few years back. As for that looming question Sue provides her answer. She lays bare the inner working of her family and all of her thoughts and feelings with courage and grace. She didn't have to put herself out there and open for further condemnation but she wants to make a positive out the tragedy by shedding light on mental health particularly as it applies to teens. We are miles from where we need to be on mental health in this country. As long as there is a stigma attached to seeking help or it is difficult to obtain there will be more Columbines, Aurora's, Sandy Hooks, and Virginia Techs. Sue is working in the area of suicide prevention to prevent other people from suffering the pain she has to endure. Hopefully as more people take up the cause of mental health like Sue Klebold and the Duchess of Cambridge real change in our schools can be implemented and we can help our children. Show Less
LibraryThing member loraineo
Sue Klebold, the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the 2 Columbine killers has written a very honest, heartbreaking book in the hopes of encouraging parents to become more aware of the warning signs of depression and severe mental problems, often mistaken for normal teenage behavior. As the mother of
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a teenager who also died from a suicide I've come to the realization, at least for me ,that there is no answer to the 'why my child?' But I do know now that no matter how much you love your child this doesn't always save lives .Difficult book to read, but well written, informative. Show Less
LibraryThing member KerryD1971
Powerful, insightful and eloquently written. An amazing woman attempting to make a difference, as she tries to live a life after the most unimaginable horror a mother could ever have to deal with.
LibraryThing member tjsjohanna
It would take an order of bravery that I can hardly imagine to do what Ms. Klebold has done in sharing with the world what it means to her to be the mother of a boy who killed innocent peers before killing himself. Despite the highly charged emotional content, the tone of the book stays firmly on
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the side of observation, explanation, genuine sorrow, and a call to education. This is not a sensationalist book, nor does it come across as a defense of their family or her parenting. I think the thing that is frightening about the Columbine tragedy and any similar experience is how difficult it can be to see someone's intentions, even when we are doing what we think is our best to stay connected to others. Lots to think about with this book. Show Less
LibraryThing member AlisonY
This book profoundly impacted me, much more so than I expected. If you are a parent of teenage or pre-teenage kids, this book will leaving your mind reeling for days afterwards, as this is a book not just about how a seemingly very normal young man did the unthinkable, but how adroit teenagers can
Dylan Klebold was one of the two teenage killers from the Columbine High School tragedy who murdered 12 students and a teacher before taking their own lives. Almost 20 years later, his mother has written this searingly honest book of their family's lives post the tragedy and in the months leading it up to it.
Contrary to the assumptions most of us would naturally jump to, this was not a child from a broken home, or a child who had endured or witnessed any kind of mental cruelty or neglect. His parents were loving, supportive, Joe normal parents who did all the things most good parents do. If he went on a sleepover Sue phoned to check they would not be watching a violent movie. There were no guns allowed in their house (despite living in a State where gun ownership was relatively commonplace). He was taught to hold doors open for people and to generally be respectful.
The pain that the Klebold family have been left with is incomprehensible. In this book, Sue Klebold never shies away from the lifetime of pain her child has caused those 13 families and all the children who were wounded or psychologically scarred from the event, and it's evident she carries that pain and guilt with her on a daily basis, along with the pain of trying to understand why her own child would want to hurt other people in such a brutal way, and why they never saw any indication that he wanted to end his own life. Theirs was/is not a grief many people felt they were entitled to because of what their son had done, and as Dylan was no longer here to take the blame himself they were the living pariahs left to carry the shame on his behalf and the relentless accusations that they were to blame as parents.
It seems there was no way they could ever have known about the massacre that was to come, as they had no reason to suspect their child had access to weapons, and indeed he had never shown much of an interest in them. Whilst the other murderer seemed to possess psychotic tendencies, the evidence Sue Klebold has gathered in the years since the atrocity seem to point to her own son's involvement stemming from severe depression (how balanced she can be on this point though is up for debate). As a parent, this was the part that caught in my throat, as Klebold explains how her son so adeptly hid from them that he was having any mental illness problems. In her work with suicide loss survivors in the years since, this seems to be a very common thread - that children who are depressed will often hide it so successfully from their parents so that their suicides come like a bolt from the blue.
Is Sue Klehold kidding herself by focusing on her son's suicide as well as the murders he committed? In balance, no, I don't think so. In this well-written book, she is open that there are no answers as to why depression should lead her son to commit mass murder, and why her child was a completely different person at the end of his life to the person she thought he was. What she feels most guilt over, and what I think we can all resonate with, is that she and her husband missed the signs of his mental illness, believing a few warning signs were simply typical teenage prickliness.
This is a book I think I will remember for a long, long time because of that point. Whilst with the grace of God not any of us here will ever experience the depths to which her child sank, the risk of suicide in young people is something that we can never kid ourselves only happens to other people's families.
4.5 stars - read it and remember it.
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be at hiding serious mental health problems from their parents.Dylan Klebold was one of the two teenage killers from the Columbine High School tragedy who murdered 12 students and a teacher before taking their own lives. Almost 20 years later, his mother has written this searingly honest book of their family's lives post the tragedy and in the months leading it up to it.
Contrary to the assumptions most of us would naturally jump to, this was not a child from a broken home, or a child who had endured or witnessed any kind of mental cruelty or neglect. His parents were loving, supportive, Joe normal parents who did all the things most good parents do. If he went on a sleepover Sue phoned to check they would not be watching a violent movie. There were no guns allowed in their house (despite living in a State where gun ownership was relatively commonplace). He was taught to hold doors open for people and to generally be respectful.
The pain that the Klebold family have been left with is incomprehensible. In this book, Sue Klebold never shies away from the lifetime of pain her child has caused those 13 families and all the children who were wounded or psychologically scarred from the event, and it's evident she carries that pain and guilt with her on a daily basis, along with the pain of trying to understand why her own child would want to hurt other people in such a brutal way, and why they never saw any indication that he wanted to end his own life. Theirs was/is not a grief many people felt they were entitled to because of what their son had done, and as Dylan was no longer here to take the blame himself they were the living pariahs left to carry the shame on his behalf and the relentless accusations that they were to blame as parents.
It seems there was no way they could ever have known about the massacre that was to come, as they had no reason to suspect their child had access to weapons, and indeed he had never shown much of an interest in them. Whilst the other murderer seemed to possess psychotic tendencies, the evidence Sue Klebold has gathered in the years since the atrocity seem to point to her own son's involvement stemming from severe depression (how balanced she can be on this point though is up for debate). As a parent, this was the part that caught in my throat, as Klebold explains how her son so adeptly hid from them that he was having any mental illness problems. In her work with suicide loss survivors in the years since, this seems to be a very common thread - that children who are depressed will often hide it so successfully from their parents so that their suicides come like a bolt from the blue.
Is Sue Klehold kidding herself by focusing on her son's suicide as well as the murders he committed? In balance, no, I don't think so. In this well-written book, she is open that there are no answers as to why depression should lead her son to commit mass murder, and why her child was a completely different person at the end of his life to the person she thought he was. What she feels most guilt over, and what I think we can all resonate with, is that she and her husband missed the signs of his mental illness, believing a few warning signs were simply typical teenage prickliness.
This is a book I think I will remember for a long, long time because of that point. Whilst with the grace of God not any of us here will ever experience the depths to which her child sank, the risk of suicide in young people is something that we can never kid ourselves only happens to other people's families.
4.5 stars - read it and remember it.
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LibraryThing member hammockqueen
A HARD BOOK TO READ AS YOU CAN FEEL HER PAIN ON EVERY PAGE. iT'S ALSO GOOD AS IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE COLUMBINE TRAGEDY THE PARENTS OF THE KILLERS WERE NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK AT THE ADVICE OF THE ATTORNEYS. aND SO, THEY SUFFERED THE DEATH OF THEIR SONS AS WELL AS THE DEATH OF THE OTHERS KILLED, WITH
tHEY DID NOT DO THE KILLING, BUT CLEARLY TROUBLED YOUTH DID. hER INFORMATION ON SUICIDAL PEOPLE IS ENLIGHTENING. wORTH THE READ AND THE LESSON IN HOW NOT TO RUSH TO JUDGEMENT.
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NO PLACE TO RELEASE IT.tHEY DID NOT DO THE KILLING, BUT CLEARLY TROUBLED YOUTH DID. hER INFORMATION ON SUICIDAL PEOPLE IS ENLIGHTENING. wORTH THE READ AND THE LESSON IN HOW NOT TO RUSH TO JUDGEMENT.
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LibraryThing member Susan.Macura
This is an amazing look at Columbine told through the perspective of one of the killer’s mothers. As expected, she speaks as a mother who loves her son, despite what he did. She also claims that she knew nothing about his plans, his depression or any other factors that might have turned her child
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into a killer. It would be easy to try to blame her for not knowing, but teenagers are highly adept at hiding what is going on in their lives, even from those who live with them and see them daily. However, it is important to understand that her grief is real; as would any parent who loses their child would feel. She is also a parent who suffered a tremendous loss. I am glad she spoke out because there is much to learn from her story, especially regarding mental health and violence. Her story is a warning for all of us to be more observant and to act on hunches so further tragedies could be avoided. While I believe that the combination of Eric Harris’ psychotic tendencies and Dylan Klebbold’s depression/suicidal leanings created a perfect storm, there have been too many other similar acts of violence to ignore the role mental health issues play in them. I gained a number of invaluable insights after reading this, which is one of the main purposes of a good book. Show Less
LibraryThing member mountie9
The Good Stuff
I wasn't looking forward to cracking this one open as the subject matter is disturbing and it hits close to home as I have a teen boy with special needs and I worry about how he will navigate this difficult time in his life
Really made me think about my parenting skills - I think I am
Won't lie my first thought during Columbine was what kind of parents did these kids have. I judged them without knowing the situation. I also thought the two boys were psychopathic monsters who should have suffered more
It took a lot of courage for this women to open up her heart and soul to help us try to understand. I can only imagine the criticism she must have faced and I thank her for this
This one will stay with me for the rest of my life. And I want to thank her for this as I will be watching my boys even more carefully
I cannot begin to imagine the horrors this mom has had to live with and I admire her courage to speak out and try to help others in need
Heart breaking and extremely difficult to read but worth it
Extremely thought provoking. Will be discussing this with a lot of people, especially my son
Author profits from the book will be donated to research and to charitable foundations focusing on mental health issues
The Not So Good Stuff
I cried myself to sleep during the duration of reading this book
I let one of my daycare kids go as he is a bit troubled and I am scared that I am not strong enough to help him mentally
My son is a little sick of me wanting to talk to him all the time. There has been some serious eye rolling and long sighs from him
I suffer from depression and anxiety (mild) and this book has increased my anxiety 500 per cent. I love my two boys more than anything in the world and it sickens me and makes me nervous that with all my faults I may damage them -
Favorite Quotes/Passages
“The ultimate message of this book is terrifying: you may not know your own children, and, worse yet, your children may be unknowable to you. The stranger you fear may be your own son or daughter.”
"While every other mother in Littleton was praying that her child was safe, I had to pray that mine would die before he hurt anyone else."
"In the aftermath of Columbine, the world’s judgment was understandably swift: Dylan was a monster. But that conclusion was also misleading, because it tied up too neatly a far more confounding reality. Like all mythologies, this belief that Dylan was a monster served a deeper purpose: people needed to believe they would recognize evil in their midst. Monsters are unmistakable; you would know a monster if you saw one, wouldn’t you? If Dylan was a fiend whose heedless parents had permitted their disturbed, raging teen to amass a weapons cache right under their noses, then the tragedy—horrible as it was—had no relevance to ordinary moms and dads in their own living rooms, their own children tucked snugly into soft beds upstairs."
5 Dewey's
I read this one as Captain Awesome recommended it and I always take his suggestions. This time I won't lie, I almost didn't pick it up, as this is really out of my comfort zone. Thanks Cammy for convincing me to pick it up. You haven't steered me wrong yet.
I wasn't looking forward to cracking this one open as the subject matter is disturbing and it hits close to home as I have a teen boy with special needs and I worry about how he will navigate this difficult time in his life
Really made me think about my parenting skills - I think I am
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doing all the right things and what if it isn't enoughWon't lie my first thought during Columbine was what kind of parents did these kids have. I judged them without knowing the situation. I also thought the two boys were psychopathic monsters who should have suffered more
It took a lot of courage for this women to open up her heart and soul to help us try to understand. I can only imagine the criticism she must have faced and I thank her for this
This one will stay with me for the rest of my life. And I want to thank her for this as I will be watching my boys even more carefully
I cannot begin to imagine the horrors this mom has had to live with and I admire her courage to speak out and try to help others in need
Heart breaking and extremely difficult to read but worth it
Extremely thought provoking. Will be discussing this with a lot of people, especially my son
Author profits from the book will be donated to research and to charitable foundations focusing on mental health issues
The Not So Good Stuff
I cried myself to sleep during the duration of reading this book
I let one of my daycare kids go as he is a bit troubled and I am scared that I am not strong enough to help him mentally
My son is a little sick of me wanting to talk to him all the time. There has been some serious eye rolling and long sighs from him
I suffer from depression and anxiety (mild) and this book has increased my anxiety 500 per cent. I love my two boys more than anything in the world and it sickens me and makes me nervous that with all my faults I may damage them -
Favorite Quotes/Passages
“The ultimate message of this book is terrifying: you may not know your own children, and, worse yet, your children may be unknowable to you. The stranger you fear may be your own son or daughter.”
"While every other mother in Littleton was praying that her child was safe, I had to pray that mine would die before he hurt anyone else."
"In the aftermath of Columbine, the world’s judgment was understandably swift: Dylan was a monster. But that conclusion was also misleading, because it tied up too neatly a far more confounding reality. Like all mythologies, this belief that Dylan was a monster served a deeper purpose: people needed to believe they would recognize evil in their midst. Monsters are unmistakable; you would know a monster if you saw one, wouldn’t you? If Dylan was a fiend whose heedless parents had permitted their disturbed, raging teen to amass a weapons cache right under their noses, then the tragedy—horrible as it was—had no relevance to ordinary moms and dads in their own living rooms, their own children tucked snugly into soft beds upstairs."
5 Dewey's
I read this one as Captain Awesome recommended it and I always take his suggestions. This time I won't lie, I almost didn't pick it up, as this is really out of my comfort zone. Thanks Cammy for convincing me to pick it up. You haven't steered me wrong yet.
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LibraryThing member bnbookgirl
A very honest book from the mother of Dylan Klebold. She explains the tragedy from the day it occurs and then jumps back in time as she tries to discover what went wrong with her son. She bares a lot of her family's soul as they come to terms with the fact that their son had a hand in this awful
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event. She has to deal with the grief of losing her son, the grief that her son committed this atrocious act, the grief over all of the people who lost their lives or were affected by this, and the grief of the media and others blaming her and her family. It is such an insight to read about an event like Columbine from this perspective. This book also gives some great advice on suicide signs and perhaps prevention. While saying I enjoyed this book may sound strange, I did find her story quite interesting and I was engrossed in the book from start to finish. A lot of times the parents of the shooters in these tragedies are treated like criminals as well. This book makes the reader realize that perhaps the parents are victims as well. Show Less
LibraryThing member homeschoolmimzi
I've read books written by victims of crimes, but none written by perpetrators or their families. Sue Klebold writes with sensitivity, honesty and candor about the tragedy at Columbine. Not only was her son Dylan a killer but he also took his own life, a fact that often gets buried and ignored.
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Perhaps most frightening of all was that Dylan's rage, hopelessness and despair was hidden and fell under everyone's radar. No one in his family and none of his friends had any inkling that he was capable of committing such destructive acts. How can this be? Sue asks. As she reads, interviews and talks with others she tries to get at some answers. Thankfully Klebold doesn't offer simple resolutions here as so many others have done; blaming video games, absent parenting, bullying, mental illness or lax gun control laws. The truth is far more complex. Klebold does an excellent job of describing her journey of grief and guilt without diminishing Dylan's culpability, as well as hers and her family's. A thoughtful, well researched memoir. Show Less
LibraryThing member kellifrobinson
Sue Klebod is bold and brave enough to invite you into her world - a world that was shattered beyond recognition on April 20, 1999, following the Columbine school shooting. She has been working for the last 18 years to find a reason to live and many of us, like me, has never even come close to
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standing for even a minute in her shoes. To this day, she wonders why and what could she have done differently as a parent to prevent the murder of 12 students and a teacher, the wounding of 24 others and the loss of her son to suicide. Each reader of this memoir has an opportunity to bear that heavy burden for 300 or so pages. Any person who walks away without empathy for the pain and suffering of this family is heartless. And any parent who does not question their own actions and decisions given the lessons that Sue Klebod departs throughout this book should start the book over from page one. She has such an important message to share. Show Less
LibraryThing member bobbieharv
I hadn't intended to read this book, but when I ran out of books to read on vacation I found this available at my library in a Kindle edition. I could barely put it down. It was honest, heartbreaking, and insightful. My only regret is that she (understandably) did not go into more detail about the
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relationship of her son and Eric Harris. Show Less
LibraryThing member bookwormteri
What an excellent horrible book to read. I can't even imagine Sue Klebold's pain after the Columbine shooting which her son was partially responsible for. Being a mother, this book scared the bejesus out of me. It just goes to show that you really never know and can only do your best and love your
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children and look out for them. I feel nothing but compassion and sorrow for this woman. Show Less
LibraryThing member BevFuller
"A Mother's Reckoning" is a beautifully written book.
LibraryThing member Narshkite
Brave, honest, informative, healing. And yet, much of her parenting advice is alarmist, and possibly damaging. I understand that Sue Klebold, more than most any other person on the planet, needs to find a why. I also understand that many of the behaviors she identifies as signs of suicidal ideation
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are also pretty standard teenage behaviors. Rolling in with random room searches and such only destroys trust. And unless your kid is an idiot a room search only works once before they just hide things elsewhere. All that said I learned a great deal about grief and depression from a smart, articulate, compassionate person. Show Less
LibraryThing member nnjmom
The Columbine massacre is an event in US history that has continued to horrify and fascinate the public. I read Dave Cullen's excellent book, Columbine, a few years ago, and was amazed to learn that so many of the things I thought I understood or knew to be true about the tragedy were actually
A Mother's Reckoning is not an easy book to read, especially for a parent. Sue Klebold deftly and apologetically dismantles the notion that good parenting protects us from an event like Columbine happening in our own family. I found that completely terrifying. This was not an absent, oblivious mother - and her portrayal of her husband shows that he was what most people would consider a good father. And yet Dylan was able to completely hide a side of him from his parents, a side that was completely different than the boy they knew and loved. The author does not excuse Dylan's actions, or her own culpability in missing some of the warning signs, but as I read, I was struck by the fact that the warning signs were ones any parent could miss - especially from a child who is intent on deceit.
Most of all, A Mother's Reckoning is an important book, because Sue Klebold has since become a strong advocate and activist for mental health reform, for more research into suicide and murder-suicide. These are brain health issues that must be better understood so that we can prevent future Columbines.
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false. When I saw the announcement that Dylan Klebold's mother, Sue, was writing a memoir about her son and his horrific actions, I knew I had to read it - and I am glad I did.A Mother's Reckoning is not an easy book to read, especially for a parent. Sue Klebold deftly and apologetically dismantles the notion that good parenting protects us from an event like Columbine happening in our own family. I found that completely terrifying. This was not an absent, oblivious mother - and her portrayal of her husband shows that he was what most people would consider a good father. And yet Dylan was able to completely hide a side of him from his parents, a side that was completely different than the boy they knew and loved. The author does not excuse Dylan's actions, or her own culpability in missing some of the warning signs, but as I read, I was struck by the fact that the warning signs were ones any parent could miss - especially from a child who is intent on deceit.
Most of all, A Mother's Reckoning is an important book, because Sue Klebold has since become a strong advocate and activist for mental health reform, for more research into suicide and murder-suicide. These are brain health issues that must be better understood so that we can prevent future Columbines.
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LibraryThing member randirousseau
I remember when this happened, so I was curious when I requested this book.I found it unutterably sad. I feel for the family post-Columbine, the shock, the despair. Wondering if they missed something, wondering if they somehow did something to trigger the horror? I was a bit shocked myself at the
That said, I have to agree with other reviewers that insights pre- and post- Columbine aren't very clearly different, other than a kind of "this could happen to you." Not quite the endpoint I was anticipating.
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outpouring of hate, lawsuits everywhere, etc. she describes. A terrible, awful event and aftermath.That said, I have to agree with other reviewers that insights pre- and post- Columbine aren't very clearly different, other than a kind of "this could happen to you." Not quite the endpoint I was anticipating.
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LibraryThing member FLYERBID
what a read!!! what a read!!! their lives totally changed after Columbine. some people can relate most cannot.
LibraryThing member BookDivasReads
I'm not a fan of memoirs generally speaking and knew that this book was going to be a difficult read for a variety of reasons. The only reason I read this book is that it was chosen for a local book group to read (yes, I know, not the most festive book to read around the holidays).
I wish I could
I wish I could
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say that I had a better understanding of Mrs. Klebold's perceptions on things pre- and post- Columbine, but I can't. This book seems to be, in my opinion, more a way to say to "look at how normal our family was" and "look at how good a parent I was" coupled with "if I knew then what I know now, things might be different." I didn't like this book or the so-called message it purported to provide. Show Less
LibraryThing member bostonterrio
Sue Klebold narrated this audio book and did a fairly good job. It is heartbreaking to hear the Columbine story from her point of view. More often than not people forget that her family also lost a child. I enjoyed hearing her rendition of the events as she understands them but about half way
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through a pattern began to emerge. She repeatedly acknowledges her son, Dylan's, role in the tragedy but then goes on to make him appear as a victim as well. I do not now nor ever have believed that bad parenting drove Dylan to act as he did. I do feel Sue Klebold blames herself in some way and I hope she eventually is able to absolve herself of that guilt. I do not buy that her son was a victim of an unhealthy brain. He may have been experiencing depression but it is a hard leap to go from a depressed teen acting out to participating in the slaughter that occurred. I admire Sue's courage and honesty and truly hope this family continues to heal. Show Less
LibraryThing member RidgewayGirl
After reading David Cullen's excellent book about the Columbine school shooting in Colorado and having read a lengthy article by Andrew Solomon (who also writes the introduction here), I was interested enough to pick up A Mother's Reckoning. Sue Klebold is the mother of one of the two boys who shot
Klebold is honest and open. She's spent years thinking over what happened, wondering about her own culpability in missing the signs of her son's intentions. This isn't a traditional true crime story, but a look at how what Klebold calls brain illness can affect a person's thinking. She has become active in the suicide prevention community and much of the emphasis of this book is on how we might prevent such events by recognizing the signs of mental distress in teen-agers early enough.
She also effectively debunks the idea that children raised in loving and well-run homes will not run into serious problems, a comfort parents give themselves to avoid facing the fact that this can happen to anyone. The Klebolds were good parents, and the changes they noticed in Dylan's behavior were the kind of things common in most teen-agers.
While memoirs by survivors, the families of murder victims and even accounts about murderers abound, it's unusual for a parent of a murderer to speak up. Klebold's account is an invaluable resource to those seeking to find a solution to our violence problems. It's also a difficult book to read, as her grief is often palpable. I'm reminded that it's important to react to people, no matter who they are, with compassion rather than judgement.
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so many of their fellow students and who shot themselves at the end of their rampage. Klebold is honest and open. She's spent years thinking over what happened, wondering about her own culpability in missing the signs of her son's intentions. This isn't a traditional true crime story, but a look at how what Klebold calls brain illness can affect a person's thinking. She has become active in the suicide prevention community and much of the emphasis of this book is on how we might prevent such events by recognizing the signs of mental distress in teen-agers early enough.
She also effectively debunks the idea that children raised in loving and well-run homes will not run into serious problems, a comfort parents give themselves to avoid facing the fact that this can happen to anyone. The Klebolds were good parents, and the changes they noticed in Dylan's behavior were the kind of things common in most teen-agers.
While memoirs by survivors, the families of murder victims and even accounts about murderers abound, it's unusual for a parent of a murderer to speak up. Klebold's account is an invaluable resource to those seeking to find a solution to our violence problems. It's also a difficult book to read, as her grief is often palpable. I'm reminded that it's important to react to people, no matter who they are, with compassion rather than judgement.
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LibraryThing member schatzi
I had just turned 19 years old when Columbine happened, having just graduated from high school the previous year, and I, like most of the country, was in absolute shock over what had happened. Horrifying shootings and attacks have happened since then, some with more victims than Columbine, but this
Sue Klebold is Dylan Klebold's mother, and in this book she details Dylan's family life and attempts to grapple with the two Dylans in her mind - her much-loved son, whom she still loves, and the killer that most of us "know" thanks to Columbine. She has spent the past several years working with suicide prevention and mental health groups.
The book itself is very readable, and I feel bad for the Klebold family (as well as all of the families of the victims - but this review is mostly about the Klebolds). I know a lot of people said after the shooting that the Klebolds had to know what Dylan was up to, or at least know that he was seriously disturbed. I don't buy that. Teenagers are naturally secretive and moody, and I spent much of my own teenagers years horribly depressed, suicidal, and self-harming - and no one in my family knew (and my family still does not know to this day what I went through as a teenager). Granted, my family was, uhhh, dysfunctional, to say the least, but even if I had had attentive parents, I am sure that they would have no idea what I was suffering with on a daily basis. I made sure of that, and I am sure that Dylan, who did appear to be at LEAST suffering from depression (there are arguments that he possibly had a personality disorder as well), did the same.
So, yes, I do feel bad for the Klebolds. Sue not only lost her son Dylan, but she also lost her marriage of forty-three years, had to declare bankruptcy, and will spend the rest of her life grieving for her son and what he did. Sue's pain is very clear in this book - so much so that I had to put the book down several times because I just could not deal with it at that point. They seem like a normal family, and I think the point of this entire book is to show that, hey, it CAN happen anywhere and it CAN happen to any family.
I do think there is a little rationalizing done in the book - Dylan was depressed, while Eric was a psychopath. Maybe that's true. But still, her account of the massacre feels clinical and detached, and it felt like she was minimizing Dylan's role in it (such as mentioning how many times Eric fired his gun - I think it was 47 times - while Dylan "only" discharged something like 5 or 6 times). They're both guilty, equally so. Maybe Dylan was depressed. Maybe Dylan saw this as a way out. I don't know. But he still killed people, still planned this, still executed this. And while she said that Columbine wouldn't have happened without Eric Harris - probably true - it also most likely wouldn't have happened without Dylan, either. Sue herself says that they fed into one another's rage.
Altogether, I would recommend this book, but be aware that it may be triggering.
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incident always stays very sharp in my mind - even more so now that I live in Colorado myself, only a few hours from Littleton. To this day, every time I see the columbine flower mentioned, or see a street named Columbine (the columbine is the state flower, so it makes many appearances throughout the state with different names), I think of the shooting.Sue Klebold is Dylan Klebold's mother, and in this book she details Dylan's family life and attempts to grapple with the two Dylans in her mind - her much-loved son, whom she still loves, and the killer that most of us "know" thanks to Columbine. She has spent the past several years working with suicide prevention and mental health groups.
The book itself is very readable, and I feel bad for the Klebold family (as well as all of the families of the victims - but this review is mostly about the Klebolds). I know a lot of people said after the shooting that the Klebolds had to know what Dylan was up to, or at least know that he was seriously disturbed. I don't buy that. Teenagers are naturally secretive and moody, and I spent much of my own teenagers years horribly depressed, suicidal, and self-harming - and no one in my family knew (and my family still does not know to this day what I went through as a teenager). Granted, my family was, uhhh, dysfunctional, to say the least, but even if I had had attentive parents, I am sure that they would have no idea what I was suffering with on a daily basis. I made sure of that, and I am sure that Dylan, who did appear to be at LEAST suffering from depression (there are arguments that he possibly had a personality disorder as well), did the same.
So, yes, I do feel bad for the Klebolds. Sue not only lost her son Dylan, but she also lost her marriage of forty-three years, had to declare bankruptcy, and will spend the rest of her life grieving for her son and what he did. Sue's pain is very clear in this book - so much so that I had to put the book down several times because I just could not deal with it at that point. They seem like a normal family, and I think the point of this entire book is to show that, hey, it CAN happen anywhere and it CAN happen to any family.
I do think there is a little rationalizing done in the book - Dylan was depressed, while Eric was a psychopath. Maybe that's true. But still, her account of the massacre feels clinical and detached, and it felt like she was minimizing Dylan's role in it (such as mentioning how many times Eric fired his gun - I think it was 47 times - while Dylan "only" discharged something like 5 or 6 times). They're both guilty, equally so. Maybe Dylan was depressed. Maybe Dylan saw this as a way out. I don't know. But he still killed people, still planned this, still executed this. And while she said that Columbine wouldn't have happened without Eric Harris - probably true - it also most likely wouldn't have happened without Dylan, either. Sue herself says that they fed into one another's rage.
Altogether, I would recommend this book, but be aware that it may be triggering.
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LibraryThing member Nicole_Russell
This book really stunned me. I was surprised that Ms. Klebold wanted to make her reflections about the tragedy public. It was interesting to see the situation through the perpetrator's parent's eyes as well as her coming to terms on how he as capable of doing what it did. Kudos to Sue on her
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bravery of tackling something very hard to deal with in a very public way. Show Less
LibraryThing member GennaC
"The terror and total disbelief are overwhelming. The sorrow of losing my son, the shame of what he has done, the fear of the world's hatred. There is no respite from the agony."
A Mother's Reckoning is devastating, haunting, and painfully honest. Sue Klebold, the mother of Columbine shooter Dylan
A Mother's Reckoning is devastating, haunting, and painfully honest. Sue Klebold, the mother of Columbine shooter Dylan
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Klebold, recalls with harrowing detail the atrocities committed by her son and fellow student Eric Harris. But more importantly, she discusses with grace and humility the role that other factors, such as media sensationalism of mass murderers, and more importantly, a general lack of understanding and mishandling of mental illness, plays in the perpetuation of these tragedies. Klebold refrains entirely from asking for sympathy or forgiveness for her son and instead seeks a further understanding of what drives people like her child to incite violence and commit suicide. Her heartbreaking honesty draws attention to often undiagnosed mental health issues in youth as she reflects on warning signs she missed and what she wishes she could change about how she parented. This is an important book in that it adds constructively to the dialogue about how we discuss, approach, and manage mental illness. While A Mother's Reckoning is an emotional memoir in which a grieving mother struggles to reconcile the child she loves with the killer he became, it's also an essential addition to the mental health literary canon. A both enthralling and eye-opening read. Show Less
Original publication date
2016