Status
Available
Call number
Publication
Penguin (Non-Classics) (2006), Paperback, 304 pages
Description
For more than a year and a half Vincent ventured into the world as Ned, with an ever-present five o'clock shadow and a crew cut--a perfect disguise that enabled her to observe the world of men as an insider. With her buddies on the bowling league she enjoyed the rough and rewarding embrace of male camaraderie; a stint in a high-octane sales job taught her the gut-wrenching pressures endured by men who would do anything to succeed; she frequented sex clubs, dated women hungry for love but bitter about men, and infiltrated all-male communities including a men's therapy group and even a monastery. She ended her journey astounded--and exhausted--by the rigid codes and rituals of masculinity.--From publisher description.
User reviews
LibraryThing member PhoenixTerran
One night, at the urging of a friend and because of her own curiosity, lesbian journalist Norah Vincent went out on the town in drag. She found it to be an enlightening and liberating experience. It was that night that inspired this book in which she passes as a "Ned" for eighteen months. Self-Made
The first chapter, Getting Started, is just that. All the work that Vincent had to do to prepare: new hair cut, beard, weight-lifting. It also serves as a general introduction to the book and explains what the reader should, and shouldn't, expect to get out of it. She is very clear that this is her own personal experience and doesn't hold any illusions that her book will explain everything about every man (or woman, for that matter).
The real experiment takes place in chapters 2-7. In the chapters Friendship, Sex, and Love, Ned joins a men's bowling-league, frequents rather seedy strip-clubs, and dates women. The chapters Life, Work and Self follow Ned as he spends a retreat at a monastery, works as a door-to-door salesman, and participates in the Men's Movement. Vincent is honest about her feelings and doesn't hesitate to point out when her preconceived notions are proven false. She deliberately went for the extremes in searching out experiences for Ned, and tried to find situations that are normally closed to women (which of course limited her choices to some extent).
There's not too much happy here, either for Norah or the men she meets. In fact, she actually had to end her experiment earlier than she anticipated due to mental health concerns brought on by her passing as Ned. The last chapter, Journey's End describes this, her recovery, and what she ultimately learned from the experience. Although I read it for my book club, I've been meaning to read Self-Made Man for awhile now. I'm glad I did, even if it wasn't exactly what I was expecting.
Experiments in Reading
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Man divides Ned's journey into eight chapters in mostly chronological order.The first chapter, Getting Started, is just that. All the work that Vincent had to do to prepare: new hair cut, beard, weight-lifting. It also serves as a general introduction to the book and explains what the reader should, and shouldn't, expect to get out of it. She is very clear that this is her own personal experience and doesn't hold any illusions that her book will explain everything about every man (or woman, for that matter).
The real experiment takes place in chapters 2-7. In the chapters Friendship, Sex, and Love, Ned joins a men's bowling-league, frequents rather seedy strip-clubs, and dates women. The chapters Life, Work and Self follow Ned as he spends a retreat at a monastery, works as a door-to-door salesman, and participates in the Men's Movement. Vincent is honest about her feelings and doesn't hesitate to point out when her preconceived notions are proven false. She deliberately went for the extremes in searching out experiences for Ned, and tried to find situations that are normally closed to women (which of course limited her choices to some extent).
There's not too much happy here, either for Norah or the men she meets. In fact, she actually had to end her experiment earlier than she anticipated due to mental health concerns brought on by her passing as Ned. The last chapter, Journey's End describes this, her recovery, and what she ultimately learned from the experience. Although I read it for my book club, I've been meaning to read Self-Made Man for awhile now. I'm glad I did, even if it wasn't exactly what I was expecting.
Experiments in Reading
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LibraryThing member melsmarsh
The following review came out of a request for my opinion after I posted it to my yearly reading challenge... I am just copying and pasting from there.
Self-Made Man was a pretty interesting book in many ways.
Personally, my favourite chapter was the chapter where "Ned" joined the bowling team and
I'm a ftm who was additionally raised, effectively, without a Dad or any other male role models. I missed out on a lot of male-bonding, etc and have always felt like an outsider. I have spent the past several years trying to figure out why men did certain things. Recently, I had this experience with an older gentleman who really got me upset, but I still didn't know why he acted like that to me. The next day I started that book.
When I read that friendship chapter, his attitude made sense. It wasn't his fault that he was being "mean" to me because he wasn't. It was my lack of appropriate male socialization in childhood and he was trying to treat me like a son.
Norah never lets you forget that she identifies as a woman and that this is just a social experiment. I still think this is a very worthwhile book to consider reading especially if you know someone who might identify as gender-queer or ftm.
Self-Made Man was a pretty interesting book in many ways.
Personally, my favourite chapter was the chapter where "Ned" joined the bowling team and
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learned how adult males interacted with each other as well as with kids (there was a boy that often came to the bowling alley with them.) I found that to be very informative.I'm a ftm who was additionally raised, effectively, without a Dad or any other male role models. I missed out on a lot of male-bonding, etc and have always felt like an outsider. I have spent the past several years trying to figure out why men did certain things. Recently, I had this experience with an older gentleman who really got me upset, but I still didn't know why he acted like that to me. The next day I started that book.
When I read that friendship chapter, his attitude made sense. It wasn't his fault that he was being "mean" to me because he wasn't. It was my lack of appropriate male socialization in childhood and he was trying to treat me like a son.
Norah never lets you forget that she identifies as a woman and that this is just a social experiment. I still think this is a very worthwhile book to consider reading especially if you know someone who might identify as gender-queer or ftm.
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LibraryThing member bobbieharv
A journalist/lesbian becomes a man for a year to see what it's like to be a man, and what men are like when women aren't around (pretty scary sometimes). The chapters where men and women are most different were the most interesting, e.g. when she went to strip clubs (pretty horrifying and
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misogynistic) and dated women. At the end it got to her, and she became psychologically screwed up as a result (I actually read this book because I saw her latest book, about being in a mental hospital, in the library and decided I'd read about what screwed her up first). All in all, except for the few chapters that fell a bit flat, like the monastery and sales job chapters, this was a fascinating frightening tour through the male psyche. No wonder she cracked. Show Less
LibraryThing member Gwendydd
This is a fascinating book, but I was shocked by how depressing it is (in fact, the author ended up checking herself into a mental hospital by the end of the book).
Norah Vincent spent a year or so as Ned Vincent - she disguised herself as a man, and explored how differently she was treated as a
In some ways, I think gender ends up being a straw man in the book. As much as her insights about gender are fascinating, I think that Norah/Ned is often reacting just as strongly to other factors that are independent of gender. For instance, in the first chapter, she joins a bowling league and spends a bunch of time with white trash blue collar guys. She is surprised at their intelligence and sensitivity, and as an intellectual writer, finds her own supposed superiority knocked down a few notches. It seems to me that she is responding to their culture as much as to their gender. Something similar happens when Ned gets a job as a door-to-door salesman - the job is so life-sucking and depressing that the employers have to keep everyone really pumped up all the time, and they use sex to do it. I (a female) actually worked for a PIRG for a few days, which is also basically door-to-door salesmanship, and my experience there very closely mirrored Ned's experience - that kind of work requires a certain culture. I would have been far more interested in Ned's treatment in a boardroom than as a salesman.
Having said that, Norah's/Ned's insights into gender are fascinating. She essentially concludes that the two genders come from such totally different starting places that getting them to understand each other is nearly impossible. She compares genders to religious sects - there's just no way to get them to connect meaningfully.
Norah's/Ned's personal crisis at the end of the book is ultimately about identity: she says that conforming to any gender role is basically a denial of your own identity, and her year pretending to be someone else was really devastating to her.
This is an interesting read, with lots of food for thought, and has certainly changed my perception of men.
Norah Vincent spent a year or so as Ned Vincent - she disguised herself as a man, and explored how differently she was treated as a
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man, and tried to explore the male psyche as much as she could. She makes some really fascinating observations, although clearly these are just one person's observations, and Norah's past and personality play a huge role in her perceptions.In some ways, I think gender ends up being a straw man in the book. As much as her insights about gender are fascinating, I think that Norah/Ned is often reacting just as strongly to other factors that are independent of gender. For instance, in the first chapter, she joins a bowling league and spends a bunch of time with white trash blue collar guys. She is surprised at their intelligence and sensitivity, and as an intellectual writer, finds her own supposed superiority knocked down a few notches. It seems to me that she is responding to their culture as much as to their gender. Something similar happens when Ned gets a job as a door-to-door salesman - the job is so life-sucking and depressing that the employers have to keep everyone really pumped up all the time, and they use sex to do it. I (a female) actually worked for a PIRG for a few days, which is also basically door-to-door salesmanship, and my experience there very closely mirrored Ned's experience - that kind of work requires a certain culture. I would have been far more interested in Ned's treatment in a boardroom than as a salesman.
Having said that, Norah's/Ned's insights into gender are fascinating. She essentially concludes that the two genders come from such totally different starting places that getting them to understand each other is nearly impossible. She compares genders to religious sects - there's just no way to get them to connect meaningfully.
Norah's/Ned's personal crisis at the end of the book is ultimately about identity: she says that conforming to any gender role is basically a denial of your own identity, and her year pretending to be someone else was really devastating to her.
This is an interesting read, with lots of food for thought, and has certainly changed my perception of men.
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LibraryThing member sherbear917
Norah Vincent is a writer who decided to leave her job at a nationally syndicated newspaper to conduct her own sociological experiment on gender relations. The subject? Herself. She received voice coaching, make-up lessons and other training to learn how to look and act like a man. With her outward
Vincent has written an interesting and thought-provoking novel. I can honestly say that I learned a lot from the book and as the reader discovers, so does Vincent herself. My only problem with the book is the way it is fragmented into different sections with little fluidity between the chapters, which causes a fair amount of repetition. I do recommend this book but beware of the choppy writing style.
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appearance transformed, Vincent embarked upon a journey throughout the different facets of manhood. She made friends, dated, worked, bonded and partied, all in a male guise. She dared to reside in a monastery, frequented crude strip bars and even joined a men's support group. Self-Made Man chronicles her experiences, relationships, and most importantly, her insights into the male psyche from a female perspective. The book offers a unique taste of what it is like to be a man and the contradictory messages men receive from women. Vincent explores the challenges that men face when they are expected to be brave and strong but are criticized for lacking sensitivity and emotional depth. Vincent has written an interesting and thought-provoking novel. I can honestly say that I learned a lot from the book and as the reader discovers, so does Vincent herself. My only problem with the book is the way it is fragmented into different sections with little fluidity between the chapters, which causes a fair amount of repetition. I do recommend this book but beware of the choppy writing style.
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LibraryThing member rstanfield
This book offended me in so many different ways. To begin with, her "study" was filled with so many flaws. I have a BA in Cultural Anthropology, and this is a good lesson in how not to do a social study. The most troubling part of it for me was the deception involved, especially when it came to
If you decide to read this, just keep one thing in mind. These are not facts based on a real study. These are her opinions and her perceptions based on an unethical and flawed experiment. Keep in mind who she is; a white female lesbian, middle-classed (and yes, this does matter). All of her perceptions are seen through her eyes, not through the unbiased view of a completely neutral party.
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dating. She didn't just go on a single date with a women, she let them get emotionally attached to her before she broke the news that she was actually a woman. Did she even take the emotional well-being of the women into consideration? The dating world for adults is hard enough. I had to stop reading when she decided to try to go to a monastery. At this point her study was beyond unethical and so flawed, that I didn't want to waste any more time. Besides that, it was making me so angry, I had to put it down for my own well-being. If you decide to read this, just keep one thing in mind. These are not facts based on a real study. These are her opinions and her perceptions based on an unethical and flawed experiment. Keep in mind who she is; a white female lesbian, middle-classed (and yes, this does matter). All of her perceptions are seen through her eyes, not through the unbiased view of a completely neutral party.
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LibraryThing member LynnB
Norah Vincent spends about 18 months disguised as a man and this book is an "immersion journalism" account of that experience. As "Ned", the author joins a bowling league, dates women, spends time in a monastery and in a men's self-help group. Her insights are not, for the most part, earth
Very honest book which provides a unique perspective on cultural expectations of both men and women.
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shattering, but this first-person account brings a deeper understanding at a personal level than academic studies could ever portray. Especially interesting, I thought, was the price Norah utimately played for living a lie -- a "nervous breakdown" requiring psychiatric care.Very honest book which provides a unique perspective on cultural expectations of both men and women.
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LibraryThing member 73pctGeek
I first heard about Self-Made Man: One Woman’s Year Disguised as a Man by Norah Vincent via the xckd blag, and finding the concept intriguing I had to pick up a copy when I saw it available at CyberRead.
Norah Vincent decides to live as a man for more than a year. As Ned, she partakes in various
The book is a well-written and extremely engrossing account of her search for what it means to be a man. Though I don’t think Vincent could in any way truly become a man, I do think certain gender differences became more acutely visible to her, precisely because she isn’t male. A man couldn’t write Self-Made Man any more than a woman could write a book called Self-Made Woman.
Something that struck me about the book is how very brave Vincent was to do some of the things she did. She put herself in a wide variety of situations where she was completely out of her depth and which could have turned ugly fast had she been unlucky. Not only did she have the guts to get into those situations, and the skill to navigate them successfully, she also has the ability of eloquently describing how she felt at the time.
After reading Self-Made Man I realised just how tough life can be when you’re male, and was left with a profound sense of empathy towards men. If you are at all interested in how men and women think and interact with each other I suggest reading Self-Made Man, hopefully you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. I just wish Norah Vincent had more/better pictures of Ned available on her website. After reading so much about him I would have appreciated seeing him properly.
Norah Vincent decides to live as a man for more than a year. As Ned, she partakes in various
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male experiences like bonding with a bowling team, visiting strip clubs, going on dates, joining a men’s group, taking a sales job in a Glengarry Glen Ross-esque environment, and even joins a monastery for several weeks.The book is a well-written and extremely engrossing account of her search for what it means to be a man. Though I don’t think Vincent could in any way truly become a man, I do think certain gender differences became more acutely visible to her, precisely because she isn’t male. A man couldn’t write Self-Made Man any more than a woman could write a book called Self-Made Woman.
Something that struck me about the book is how very brave Vincent was to do some of the things she did. She put herself in a wide variety of situations where she was completely out of her depth and which could have turned ugly fast had she been unlucky. Not only did she have the guts to get into those situations, and the skill to navigate them successfully, she also has the ability of eloquently describing how she felt at the time.
After reading Self-Made Man I realised just how tough life can be when you’re male, and was left with a profound sense of empathy towards men. If you are at all interested in how men and women think and interact with each other I suggest reading Self-Made Man, hopefully you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. I just wish Norah Vincent had more/better pictures of Ned available on her website. After reading so much about him I would have appreciated seeing him properly.
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LibraryThing member webreader
I understand the impetus behind Ms. Vincent's experiment--when I was 20 I used to be really curious about what men said and did when women weren't around. But I got over it. I think because I found out that I liked them better when they were behaving in a civilized manner as functional adult
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people. This aspect of male behavior degenerates considerably in the absence of women. Show Less
LibraryThing member clamato
Chose this for my bookgroup a while back. I was intrigued but worried how the group would react to it. It was interesting and everyone thought the same but the overall concensus was that the vulgarity of it detracted from a great story. It was an interesting exercise in the human condition but
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Norah Vincent took it down to a level it did not need to go. I thought it was a brave endeavour and was so interested in reading this book but I lost track of it because of all the foul language that just was not necessary. Show Less
LibraryThing member Lilac_Lily01
Norah Vincent lived for 1 1/2 years the life of a man. In a drag costume she joined an all male bowling club, went to work in a high pressure sales job, dated women and even participated in a men's self-help group.
In "Self-Made Man" she shares what she discovered about the other sex while working
However, Vincent manges to disprove her own thesis that men have easier and better lives all around. In the end the female reader will at least gain some understanding and sympathy for the male life experience.
In "Self-Made Man" she shares what she discovered about the other sex while working
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under cover. This book was an entertaining and quick read although the insights gained weren't as deep as one could have hoped for. However, Vincent manges to disprove her own thesis that men have easier and better lives all around. In the end the female reader will at least gain some understanding and sympathy for the male life experience.
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LibraryThing member breakerfallen
A fascinating story, if one approaches it as more of a travelogue. I don't agree with her broad generalizations of "women" or "feminine" versus "men" and "masculine," but her comparison between her as female and her as male, both in her perceptions and how she was perceived, made for a very
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interesting read. In the end, I feel I learned more about the author's view of herself and how she vies the different genders than I did about "manhood" or its many permutations. Show Less
LibraryThing member austinbarnes
I read this one after the book about mental institutions, even though this one was written first and its research, I think, was the motivator for the depression that lead to the psychiatry book. Certainly a lot of very male stereotypes are discussed in this book. I like to think of myself as at
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least a decently intuitive person, and just don't see those qualities in most of the guys I know. At least not to such a degree anyway. Though I guess this is the authors primary point :) -- that men behave differently around women than other men. Nonetheless, the book did make me think, especially about which of my behaviors are heavily influenced by being female. Made me want to act so damn acquiescent and flexible a heck of a lot less, for one. :) Show Less
LibraryThing member maxbuehler
Very enlightening. Seems like a passe premise, but has a lot of new and interesting things to say about social realities of men and women.
LibraryThing member Carlie
Not really realizing it, I delved into two gender books simultaneously. Halfway through Middlesex, I picked up Self-Made Man and learned more about gender and identity in the last two weeks than I had anticipated. Actually, Self-Made Man made the experiences of Middlesex's Calliope/Cal more
That aside, Self-Made Man is a real-life story about a woman who decides to disguise herself as a man for eighteen months in order to see life from the other side of the gender fence. What she found is that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
She joined a bowling league, dated women, went to strip clubs, stayed in a monastery, worked in sales, and joined a men's self-help group. Sometimes she eventually revealed herself, and sometimes she didn't. What surprised her the most through the journey was also the most refreshing: it is much more difficult to be a man than she thought it would be. In the end, her divided self had a breakdown, falling in under the weight of having two identities that could not easily coexist in only one human.
With eye-opening insights and lots of silent nods of agreement concerning the reconciliation of the perspectives of the sexes, Vincent was able to offer so much more to gender discussions and male insight than she ever expected. Rather than an easy existence, she found the male mind to be torn between primal desires and comfortable love, between emotional expressiveness and fulfilling society's expectations.
To exemplify, I quote her regarding the damage that "manhood" can evoke:
"In that sense my experience wasn't unique. Being a guy was just like that much of the time, a series of unrealistic, limiting, infuriating and depressing expectations constantly coming over the wire, and you just a dummy trying to act on the instructions. White manhood in America isn't the standard anymore by which women and all other minorities are being measured and found wanting, or at least it doesn't feel that way from the inside. It's just another set of marching orders, another stereotype to inhabit."
Vincent concludes that men and women may just be living in parallel worlds, alike in emotions but not allowed to express them in similar ways, each unable to be a complete person without social stigma; and men may be at a greater disadvantage because so much is expected of them - in their words, expressions, behaviors, reactions - that they must vigilantly suppress the very things that could lead to their healing.
She offers a unique, if not entirely authentic, perspective on manhood that is both honest and sympathetic. Maybe most men would not have written about this topic, but perhaps it took an outsider to see it so plainly and provocatively.
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real.That aside, Self-Made Man is a real-life story about a woman who decides to disguise herself as a man for eighteen months in order to see life from the other side of the gender fence. What she found is that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
She joined a bowling league, dated women, went to strip clubs, stayed in a monastery, worked in sales, and joined a men's self-help group. Sometimes she eventually revealed herself, and sometimes she didn't. What surprised her the most through the journey was also the most refreshing: it is much more difficult to be a man than she thought it would be. In the end, her divided self had a breakdown, falling in under the weight of having two identities that could not easily coexist in only one human.
With eye-opening insights and lots of silent nods of agreement concerning the reconciliation of the perspectives of the sexes, Vincent was able to offer so much more to gender discussions and male insight than she ever expected. Rather than an easy existence, she found the male mind to be torn between primal desires and comfortable love, between emotional expressiveness and fulfilling society's expectations.
To exemplify, I quote her regarding the damage that "manhood" can evoke:
"In that sense my experience wasn't unique. Being a guy was just like that much of the time, a series of unrealistic, limiting, infuriating and depressing expectations constantly coming over the wire, and you just a dummy trying to act on the instructions. White manhood in America isn't the standard anymore by which women and all other minorities are being measured and found wanting, or at least it doesn't feel that way from the inside. It's just another set of marching orders, another stereotype to inhabit."
Vincent concludes that men and women may just be living in parallel worlds, alike in emotions but not allowed to express them in similar ways, each unable to be a complete person without social stigma; and men may be at a greater disadvantage because so much is expected of them - in their words, expressions, behaviors, reactions - that they must vigilantly suppress the very things that could lead to their healing.
She offers a unique, if not entirely authentic, perspective on manhood that is both honest and sympathetic. Maybe most men would not have written about this topic, but perhaps it took an outsider to see it so plainly and provocatively.
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LibraryThing member phyllis.shepherd
The author belabors every point in the book. How often and in how many ways do we need to hear about how degrading lap dances are?
LibraryThing member ablueidol
Interesting read and an account of how men behave that accepts that our behaviour is not about being womenlite. I was involved in men's consciousness raising groups back in the 70's when it was all the rage to say that all men were the enemy. It also linked to anti-discriminatory awareness that
But it makes the usual mistake in these cases of assuming that USA working/middle class behaviour norms are universal behaviour norms. Think how the behaviour would have been like if say Italians or southern Asian. Most surveys say that north Europeans/Americans come out as the lowest level of verbal/physical contact between men
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basically said if white middle class heterosexual male then shoot yourself now. I thought that was rubbish then as it ignores that you can acknowledge the need to change behaviour and then fight for change. She also sees this as nonsense and sees men as they are- flawed humans trying their best. And given the deceit and betrayal she has to go through, I think the men come out wellBut it makes the usual mistake in these cases of assuming that USA working/middle class behaviour norms are universal behaviour norms. Think how the behaviour would have been like if say Italians or southern Asian. Most surveys say that north Europeans/Americans come out as the lowest level of verbal/physical contact between men
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LibraryThing member mikerr
Pretty astonishing. A "masculine" looking woman (the author) spends a year living as a man - during which she joins a bowling league, goes on dates (with women), visits a monastery, works in sales, and even goes on a weekend men's retreat (a la Robert Bly). Sometimes uncomfortable to read (those
Opening sentence: "Seven years ago, I had my first tutorial in becoming a man."
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women she dates - is that ethical? and what about the men's group?), this is an amazing exploration of gender. For me, as a man, it was like reading about an anthropologist reporting back on the male tribe in 21st century North America. Fascinating.Opening sentence: "Seven years ago, I had my first tutorial in becoming a man."
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LibraryThing member wickedlibrarian
My husband was the one to tell me about this book, after he'd read an article about the author's experiment in Time magazine. It has some amazing and valuable insight in how both sexes think, act, and react in our social world. I came away from the book feeling like my eyes were more open about how
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men feel/act/think, but more informed about my own sex as well. Show Less
LibraryThing member mms
A fascinating look at the dynamic of gender and a sad journey to paranoia and mental breakdown. The importance of this "memoir" cannot be overrated.
LibraryThing member TPLThing
I listened to the audio version read by the author, Norah Vincent. Vincent went undercover as a man, to experience what she felt would be a life of privilege and ease. She found it wasn’t so easy as she had pictured, though. Vincent’s experiences as “Ned” tend toward the extreme: bowling
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leagues, high-pressure sales jobs and “men’s movement” retreats. It’s perhaps not surprising that little is said of ordinary, well-adjusted men. When Ned goes looking for extremes, he’s bound to find them. Still, Vincent’s observations of men’s interactions and the cultural expectations of them are often interesting, insightful, and vibrant. Show Less
LibraryThing member allthesedarnbooks
I first heard about this book when the author appeared on The Colbert Report. (One of my favorite shows!) The concept intrigued me: a woman, disguising herself as a man, and writing about it. A lot of my favorite novels revolve around this type of cross-dressing (the Song of the Lioness quartet by
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Tamora Pierce, or The Beacon at Alexandria by Gillian Bradshaw are examples) and I was interested to see what the results would be in real life, in the present day. The results are well-written and interesting. Vincent provides insight into not only the ways in which men are treated differently than women, but the psyches of both genders. Definitely worth a read. Show Less
LibraryThing member JerkyTourniquet
Great premise, but executed by the wrong person. Observations were not in depth, study was not ethical and there was no research to give any foundation.
LibraryThing member justablondemoment
I wanted to read her second book where she spent a year in a mental ward, then found out this book was a part of what made her breakdown and thought I should read it 1st. Not sure if that was a good idea or not. I could not get into this book. In defense of the book I only read the 1st chapter and
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part of the second so it may have gotten much better. To me it was just the whole writing style, not the idea behind the words. I wanted to know more how she FELT as these things were happening and she was experiencing them. Instead it came out reporter style with just this is what happened and that made it a little catching but in the end to dry for me to continue. Shrugs...dunno I'll try the other one. Show Less
LibraryThing member Meggo
An interesing look at the hidden underside of being a man. Vincent passed as a man in various situations, such as in a bowling league, in a monestary, on the road as a door to door salesman, in a strip club (as a patron, natch) and at an all male retreat in order to see what life was like from the
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other side of the street. What she discovered is that men are just as conflicted as women, except with fewer socially acceptable outlets to communicate their stress and frustration. A key insight she discovered through this process is that gender is as much mental as it is physical -- she could send signals of 'male' or 'female' while looking the same, all depending on her own headspace at the time. All in all, however, this book left me curiously unsatisfied. I was hoping that there was some secret to be found, some golden ring that only men had access to, and in reality, men and women struggle with the same issues and same desire for validation. Show Less
Awards
The New York Times Notable Books of the Year (Nonfiction — 2006)
Language
Pages
304
Original publication date
2006
ISBN
0143038702 / 9780143038702