Status
Available
Call number
Collections
Publication
Ebury Press (2007), Edition: New Ed, Paperback, 288 pages
Description
It all started in Balham. Tony and his friend are watching the England football team play the little-known eastern european state of Moldova. For no reason, the pair argue about how good Tony is at tennis. A bet is made: that Tony can't beat all eleven members of the Moldovan football team at tennis. And with the loser agreeing to strip naked on Balham High Road and sing the Moldovan national anthem, it was too good to resist.
User reviews
LibraryThing member cbl_tn
It started out as a bar bet. Tony Hawks, and his buddy, Arthur, were watching a football/soccer match between England and Moldova. Somehow, by the end of the game, Hawks had bet that he could beat all 11 of the Moldovan football players at tennis.
The rest of the book is the story of Hawks' quest to
This would have been a dull book if it had been nothing more than a description of 11 tennis matches. However, much of the book is filled with Hawks' experiences with his translator and his host family. He spent most of his time in Moldova with at least one of these five people, and it's through their conversations and shared experiences that he (and we) glimpse what life is like for the average Moldovan. Hawks' skills as a comedian are well suited for observing a different culture. Hawks finds humor in situations, but not at the expense of others.
I don't have any more desire to visit Moldova after reading this book than I did before I read it, but I do have an appreciation for the Moldovan people, and I hope that their economic condition has improved in the decade since Hawks' visit.
The rest of the book is the story of Hawks' quest to
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win the bet. He had lots of obstacles to overcome, starting with getting a visa to visit Moldova. Since Moldova issues visas only to people who have been invited by a citizen, Hawks had to find a citizen to extend an invitation to him. He would cross one hurdle only to find another one in his path. He spent most of his time in Moldova trying to make contact with team officials and/or the players themselves. At the time of his visit, Moldova had been an independent nation for only half a dozen years, and there were deficiencies in its infrastructure. No task, even a phone call, was simple. The Moldovan acquaintances he accumulated during his visit were pessimistic that he would succeed in his quest, yet they went to great lengths to help him.This would have been a dull book if it had been nothing more than a description of 11 tennis matches. However, much of the book is filled with Hawks' experiences with his translator and his host family. He spent most of his time in Moldova with at least one of these five people, and it's through their conversations and shared experiences that he (and we) glimpse what life is like for the average Moldovan. Hawks' skills as a comedian are well suited for observing a different culture. Hawks finds humor in situations, but not at the expense of others.
I don't have any more desire to visit Moldova after reading this book than I did before I read it, but I do have an appreciation for the Moldovan people, and I hope that their economic condition has improved in the decade since Hawks' visit.
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LibraryThing member kcozonac
I'd have to say that Hawks' views on Moldova are quite patronizing. His facts are off and he makes the country seem much less accessible than it really is. If you're reading it as humor, it's a great book. If you're looking for information about Moldova look elsewhere.
LibraryThing member MontglaneChess
Comedian Tony Hawks does it again as another bet lands him in Moldova, this time prepared to beat all eleven soccer players from the national team at tennis. Set against a little seen background of post-Soviet Moldova, Hawks wanders the grim streets in search of his footballers while avoiding open
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manholes. Hawks trivial trip is laid out in linear fashion as he goes from Moldova, to Russia, and Israel in order to play his list of footballers. The tennis matches start counting down and Tony's knowledge of Eastern Europe grows as he edges toward the final conclusion of his travels--where someone will end up stark-naked singing the Moldovan national anthem! Fraught with language barriers, frustrating post-Cold War bureaucracy, and deception, this might be Tony Hawks most elaborate bet yet. Hawks style of writing is a blend of bloke-ish humor and understated awareness of his cultural surroundings. Features bonus pictures from his travels. A slightly irreverent option to the more traditional, staid travelogue. An engaging option for high school or public libraries. Show Less
LibraryThing member Othemts
In a bet, Tony Hawks has to beat every single member of the Moldovan national football team in a game of tennis. In his quest to find and challenge the players he visits Moldova, Northern Ireland, and Israel. Like Round Ireland With A Fridge (although not quite as good) Hawks witty observations and
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ability to get himself into the most absurd situations makes this a laugh out loud book. Show Less
LibraryThing member thornton37814
Londoner Tony Hawks takes up a bet with his friend Arthur that he can defeat all 11 players of the Moldovan football team who had just completed a match in England at tennis. It's been awhile since Tony has played, and no one really knows if any of the football players is good at tennis. Hawks sets
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off to begin his quest and meets a number of obstacles along the way. The language, of course, is a barrier, but the players are quite spread out as far as their regular clubs are concerned. Some of their managers are not cooperative. In the end, Tony travels not only to Moldova but to Beirut and Israel in his quest to win the bet. I won't give away the outcome of the matches, but the book provides a nice change of pace from most travelogues and contains some quite humorous incidents along the way. Show Less
LibraryThing member MiaCulpa
Tony Hawks has produced a number of travelogues, with varying degrees of quality. "Playing the Moldovans at Tennis" is one of his better attempts, although that wasn't difficult.
Hawks used to be a talented junior tennis player and so embarks on one of those quests that seem to bob up regularly
Hawks heads to spots around the world, including Moldova and its separatist region Transnistria. I won't offer any spoilers but rest assured there is nude singing at the end.
Hawks used to be a talented junior tennis player and so embarks on one of those quests that seem to bob up regularly
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these days; he would play and beat each member of the Moldovan soccer team in a game of tennis. If he won, his friend would appear naked on one of the busiest thoroughfares in London, singing Moldova's national anthem. If Hawks lost, it would be him doing the duty.Hawks heads to spots around the world, including Moldova and its separatist region Transnistria. I won't offer any spoilers but rest assured there is nude singing at the end.
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LibraryThing member nwhyte
Brilliant introduction to this little-known country, just manages to stay the right side of patronising.
LibraryThing member Clurb
Following on from the success of Round Ireland With A Fridge, Hawks takes on another bet to play all 11 members of the Moldovan football team at tennis. Read this for the comedy rather than the travel.
LibraryThing member KarenDuff
Before I read this I had heard of Moldova but only through football. I think it gives a decent insight into life in post soviet Moldova, although a follow up would be good just to see how much life has changed ten years on.Also liked that he stayed with a local family as this gives a better insight
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into daily life and shows just how much we in the west take for granted. Show Less
LibraryThing member spiralsheep
125/2020. Is this great literature? No, of course not, it's an average 3/5. Is it a great comedy travelogue? Yes, despite the fact that I'm not an especial fan of Tony Hawks, I'd rate this book 4.5/5. I'm guessing it helps if a reader is familiar with his particular brand of dry humour
Quotes
Lol: Salvation Army = "religious militia".
Pointless: "And so I went about my business, having successfully attached enormous gravitas to a manifestly pointless pursuit. But why did there always have to be a point? Why couldn't you just get stuck in and do things? What was the point of anything anyway? What was the point in football? What was the point in working, retiring, saving money, raising a family, going to church or standing for election? The only thing I could feel sure had a point was the sharp bit at the very end of a dart. and even that was useless unless it got stuck into things."
I once had to email a church about embarrassing spelling mistakes on their website: "The Father then handed me a leaflet giving details about his basilica, which included a delightfully hopeless English translation of the text. It was riddled with mistakes, my favourite being the constant use of the word 'warship' instead of 'worship'. It seemed a fitting error, somehow acknowledging the role that religion had played in the fostering of warfare down the years."
From an interview with a Moldovan oligarch football club owner, and anyone who believes this is only happening in the former Eastern bloc or in football is extremely naive: "The Green One's answer was unashamedly frank. He paid for it with laundered money. In this country, he maintained, you could not make money officially because then you would lose all of it in taxes. A shocking remark, not because it revealed anything that I hadn't already suspected, but because he was prepared to make it on camera for broadcast across the United Kingdom. No caution, no guilt, no fear, no conscience. He was too powerful for any of that stuff. This guy could pretty much do what he wanted. He was one of an emerging Ruling Class in Eastern Europe whose success appeared to be based on stretching the rules to their own advantage."
At a football match in Northern Ireland: "I don't normally stand for the national anthem, given that I'm not sure I approve of what it stands for, but on this occasion I felt that not to do so might have incurred the wrath of those around me. Cravenly I rose to my feet and sang the mindless words.
God save our gracious Queen
Long live our noble Queen
God save the Queen
Why should God save the Queen? Certainly ahead of anyone else. Were we suggesting there ought to be some kind of pecking order for God's protective hand? If so, what number was I going to come in at?"
Lol: "The selfish actions of Saddam Hussein nearly messed things up for me. He had incurred the wrath of the Americans by refusing to let UN investigators see if Iraq had as many evil weapons of destruction stashed away as they did."
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though.Quotes
Lol: Salvation Army = "religious militia".
Pointless: "And so I went about my business, having successfully attached enormous gravitas to a manifestly pointless pursuit. But why did there always have to be a point? Why couldn't you just get stuck in and do things? What was the point of anything anyway? What was the point in football? What was the point in working, retiring, saving money, raising a family, going to church or standing for election? The only thing I could feel sure had a point was the sharp bit at the very end of a dart. and even that was useless unless it got stuck into things."
I once had to email a church about embarrassing spelling mistakes on their website: "The Father then handed me a leaflet giving details about his basilica, which included a delightfully hopeless English translation of the text. It was riddled with mistakes, my favourite being the constant use of the word 'warship' instead of 'worship'. It seemed a fitting error, somehow acknowledging the role that religion had played in the fostering of warfare down the years."
From an interview with a Moldovan oligarch football club owner, and anyone who believes this is only happening in the former Eastern bloc or in football is extremely naive: "The Green One's answer was unashamedly frank. He paid for it with laundered money. In this country, he maintained, you could not make money officially because then you would lose all of it in taxes. A shocking remark, not because it revealed anything that I hadn't already suspected, but because he was prepared to make it on camera for broadcast across the United Kingdom. No caution, no guilt, no fear, no conscience. He was too powerful for any of that stuff. This guy could pretty much do what he wanted. He was one of an emerging Ruling Class in Eastern Europe whose success appeared to be based on stretching the rules to their own advantage."
At a football match in Northern Ireland: "I don't normally stand for the national anthem, given that I'm not sure I approve of what it stands for, but on this occasion I felt that not to do so might have incurred the wrath of those around me. Cravenly I rose to my feet and sang the mindless words.
God save our gracious Queen
Long live our noble Queen
God save the Queen
Why should God save the Queen? Certainly ahead of anyone else. Were we suggesting there ought to be some kind of pecking order for God's protective hand? If so, what number was I going to come in at?"
Lol: "The selfish actions of Saddam Hussein nearly messed things up for me. He had incurred the wrath of the Americans by refusing to let UN investigators see if Iraq had as many evil weapons of destruction stashed away as they did."
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Subjects
Awards
Baillie Gifford Prize for Non-Fiction (Shortlist — 2000)
Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize for Comic Fiction (Shortlist — 2000)
Language
Original publication date
2000
Physical description
288 p.; 4.96 x 0.71 inches
ISBN
0091920353 / 9780091920357
Local notes
Hawks takes on all eleven members of the Moldovan soccer team at tennis, in an adventure that sees him being taken in by Moldovan gypsies and narrowly avoiding kidnap in Transnistria.