Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

by Chelsea Handler

Paperback, 2009




Gallery Books (2009), Edition: Reprint, 272 pages


When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power--vodka. Welcome to Chelsea's world--a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense. In this collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her, only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. --From publisher description.


½ (846 ratings; 3.6)

User reviews

LibraryThing member bookwormteri
She is not anyone that I would want to be or for my kids to look up to, but I so want to be her friend. She is naughty and funny, wild and mouthy. I can't wait to pick up her next book. she is just out there. DO NOT read if you are prim and proper and think that every lady should be. Only read if
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you can laugh at the horrible thing that you did or said the last time you REALLY got drunk. Chelsea....CALL ME!!!!!!!
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LibraryThing member chonie
I went the Borders last Sunday morning after deciding that I wanted to read this book. I had been watching Chelsea Lately (her tv show on E!) and had heard some of her life experiences that she has shared. I started & finished this book that same Sunday! It was hilarious and actually had me
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laughing out loud. I just could not put it down. If you are a fan of Chelsea and her style of humor... this book is definitely for you! Now off for me to find her other book!!
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LibraryThing member kysmom02
How did this become published? And why is it selling so many copies? While it's mildly funny, and totally sarcastic, I didn't really find any purpose to this book. It's written somewhat as a diary of experiences, none of which were exceptional.

First of all, I picked this up (and a copy of My
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Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands) on a recommendation from my sister. I happened to listen to this one before reading the first one. (I'm not sure that I'll read the other, but since it's on my Kindle and I paid money for it, I might try.) I'm aware that some people really like Chelsea. My husband for one, likes to watch her show on late night T.V. I'm not that fond of it myself, but still thought I'd give this book a try.

I did finish the book, and I did occasionally laugh out loud, other than that, I can't say anything else about it. There's no real story line, and it certainly didn't leave me wanting more. I also didn't make me think, or leave me with anything. Sorry, but no recommendations for this one from me!
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LibraryThing member eljabo
This book was laugh-out-loud funny, but not the kind of funny you want your mom to know you understand. Every chapter gave me at least one guffaw-worthy moment. My favorite was when Chelsea's boyfriend admitted to some slightly questionable behavior with a dog - and with a peke-a-poo for that
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matter! If you're easily offended, this isn't the book for you. (Although if you're easily offended, you're probably not picking up a book with 'vodka' in the title!)
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LibraryThing member karieh
I can't write a decent review when my sides hurt from laughing...the only thing I can say is that while I enjoyed this book a great husband was not so thrilled by my hysterical laughter at 1 o'clock in the morning.
LibraryThing member octoberbby208
I couldn't put the book down. I was laughing the whole time. Loved it.
LibraryThing member knitwit2
Depending on how serious you take yourself, this book could be hilarious or the most offensive thing you've ever read. I found myself laughing until there were tears running down my face - particularly when she goes on vacation with her father who was "born without the embarrasment gene." The
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family stories were the funniest. Her love life and drinking habits made me feel Amish (and happily so).
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LibraryThing member bookworm_naida
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea is written by Chelsea Handler, who is an American stand-up comedian and host of her own show, Chelsea Lately. In her hilarious memoir Chelsea talks about her childhood, her family, her friends, drinking and men. She discusses a few funny predicaments she's
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gotten herself into, like when she was in the third grade and told her classmates that she was working on a film with Goldie Hawn to impress them. Or how when she was fish-sitting her boyfriends goldfish and it died while he was away, she replaced the fish with a bigger one and told him it grew due to the vitamin supplements she was feeding it. She talks about her DWI arrest and the time she served in jail, which is definitely not funny, but her observations when she was in jail had me laughing out loud. There was also a part where she discusses the male anatomy that had me in hysterics, I cried from laughing so hard.

This book started off really funny, it had me in stitches, but then it fizzled toward the middle and kind of died out for me. Chelsea has a sarcastic humor that is great, but sadly, the book slowed down and the big laughs were mostly in the first half.

All in all, this was a funny book and i'm glad I read it. I just wish she had kept the momentum going and gave me one final laugh.
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LibraryThing member etimme
This book had me laughing out loud a ton, and of all the books I read last year it's the only one I can recommend to anyone looking for an easy, fun read. If I had to pick one chapter that I liked more than the others it would definitely be the regifting story, but the entire book is filled with
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sharp, clever dialogue from an unapologetic drunk and miscreant.

This book was published in 2008 but I've run into a shocking number of people who have read or who are reading it in the last 2 months. It seems like it's the perfect gift for a girl, and if you're talking about books the one (besides Twilight and Sookie Stackhouse) that you're almost sure to find common ground on, even if the rest of your book shelf is Robert Jordan.
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LibraryThing member knithappened
Each chapter of this book was akin to listening to a comedian's set. And like any routine, there were some that made me laugh and some I scratched my head on. Chelsea Handler takes vignettes from her life and turns them into comedy, no matter what...poking fun at her family, friends, and herself.
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In my opinion, the author is a Candace Bushnell wannabe. It's a light read and you definitely can put down and pick up this book at any time and not miss a beat.
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LibraryThing member LisaaL
Very funny. I actually listened to it as an audiobook and have to say that I think that's the best way to enjoy the book. She reads it herself and has a perfect delivery, naturally. I accidentally inhaled my cheesy gordita crunch (love to eat when i drive) because I laughed so hard--thought I was
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going to wreck my car. Don't miss this one!
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LibraryThing member dele2451
Hilarious, irreverent material, but I'd have to classify it as a guilty pleasure. After all, it's hard to laugh wholeheartedly about somebody getting a DUI and going to prison, but Handler puts it all out there and manages to make it more entertaining than it probably should be. Honestly, I'd never
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heard of Chelsea prior to getting this book as a gift, but reading it makes me want to check out her stand-up routine. She reminds me a little of a female Denis Leary (if Leary was Jewish, that is). If you're a Sex in the City fan, you'll probably enjoy this book too.
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LibraryThing member df1a_allyvk
This book was hilarious. i highly recomend it for everyone. i laughed really hard. If you watch her show Chelsea Lately you will love it. it is not the most appropriate book but it is good.
LibraryThing member BrianaJae
Funny. That is all it is supposed to be. Little stories that keep you laughing. It does its job well and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
LibraryThing member lmnalban
Great candy. A great, quick read for a holiday weekend.
LibraryThing member hklibrarian
Chelsea writes as she talks, which you know if you watch her show on E! I am not sure if she is as funny as she thinks or if not, This book left me feeling sadder, more than laughing, because I thought that MY family was dysfunctional until I "met" hers. Mine can't hold a candle to hers. Took a lot
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to get thru this. I like her better in person.....
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LibraryThing member lucky11
"Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea," started out hilarious, and by the end it lost its spark. But was an all around good read. I normally don't read non-fiction, but thought this looked good, and I like Chelsea Hanler's late night show. I recommend this book, but i will warn that what some
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people find funny, and humorous, some may take offense.
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LibraryThing member running501
I've never watched Chelsea on television, but had heard good things about her books, so I decided to listen to this audiobook. While there were parts that were amusing, I found her sense of humor too lewd for my taste. Without her sarcastic comments about everything, the stories were dry. But I
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guess that's what makes a mildly entertaining comedian - taking the ordinary and inserting as many obscene jokes as possible to amuse some people (no offense to people who like her - just not my taste).
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LibraryThing member schatzi
I've never seen Chelsea on television, but I had heard great things about this book, so I decided to pick it up anyway. The first two chapters weren't funny at all, and I didn't bother reading the book again for a few weeks. The rest of the chapters were mostly funnier, but there wasn't anything
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side-splitting here. Sure, I laughed out loud a few times and I am definitely not a prude, but I just didn't find her type of humor all that funny. I've already bought another of Chelsea's books (My Horizontal Life), so I'll read another book by her, but I really can't see myself recommending it to anyone.
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LibraryThing member ViciousJ
Great and quick read... Chelsea is a great storyteller and while some stories may be quite a bit embellished, they're always funny. She's candid, frank and unapologetic - qualities people rarely have these days. It's refreshing and entertaining.
LibraryThing member mkschoen
Not nearly as funny as I was expecting.
LibraryThing member silenceiseverything
This book was brash, trashy, and completely inappropriate. And I loved every single minute of it! I love Chelsea Handler! While I've never watched Girls Behaving Badly, I have watched her on Chelsea Lately and most of the time, I could care less about the guests just because she is so hilarious.
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So, I decided to pick up Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. I was a bit apprehensive about how her comedy would translate onto the written word, but I needn't worry. Within the second page, I was trying to hold in my laughter at the bus stop.

This book was just so incredibly hilarious! Chelsea Handler says every rude thing we always think, but aren't actually rude enough to say. Kudos to her for actually having the courage to say it. This is definitely not for the easily offended as it's racy and sometimes brash. But it's endlessly entertaining. It does seem disjointed here and there as Handler goes back and forth between her timelines, but it was so funny that I really didn't care. I definitely recommend this book if you're looking for a hilarious and breezy read. I NEED to find a copy of [book:My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands|35982] like yesterday.
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LibraryThing member sbenne3
Mildly entertaining, but largely a waste of time.
LibraryThing member kheins12
Watching Chelsea's show I haven't always been a fan of her humor but after reading her book I liked her all the more. Her sarcasm and blunt humor is hysterical. Her stories of her childhood as she made up lies to make herself seem greater are hilarious. She tells a lot of the book through short
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tales of various occasions in her life. Her small tales here and there kept me turning the page. She is crude and out there which makes this book not for all people. At times it can offend those for are sensitive on certain issues but in all I found it refreshing and a unconventional kind of humor that not everyone agrees with. Her very different perspective on the world makes her life interesting. The book was a quick read due to my inability to put it down.
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LibraryThing member Sovranty
The book has some extremely hilarious moments and some extremely dull moments...just like life. If you like Chelsea Handler, you will enjoy getting to know her even more. If you've never heard of her, it's a good plane-hop book.


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8.25 inches


1416596364 / 9781416596363
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