Status
Available
Collection
Publication
Audible Studios (2019)
Description
Biography & Autobiography. Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML:INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! Now being developed as a television series with Eva Longoria and ABC! "Rarely have I read a book that challenged me to see myself in an entirely new light, and was at the same time laugh-out-loud funny and utterly absorbing."�??Katie Couric "This is a daring, delightful, and transformative book."�??Arianna Huffington, Founder, Huffington Post and Founder & CEO, Thrive Global "Wise, warm, smart, and funny. You must read this book."�??Susan Cain, New York Times best-selling author of Quiet From a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist's world�??where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she). One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but. As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients' lives �?? a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can't stop hooking up with the wrong guys �?? she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell. With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and ou… (more)
User reviews
LibraryThing member SandyAMcPherson
I have very mixed feelings about this memoir: it is an intensely personal journey with major insights for the reader in how therapy 'works' and what constitutes success and improvement. The narrative is not entirely satisfying, however, because the case studies feel forced or perhaps, a bit staged.
By about the third appearance of a given 'character', I found the case studies that Gottlieb outlined became boring. It was as if there were example categories of each type that fell into tropes: the *ssh*l*; the dying of cancer young girl; the estranged, elderly widow, the addicted woman (alcohol, sex with strangers) . Strangely, the case with the most objectionable patient turned out to be the most compelling, although I persisted for half the book thinking, 'Dump the sh*t'. Yeah, I am so not suited to giving any type of therapeutic counselling!
Gottlieb's personal struggles were candidly explained and the insights from her own counselling as a patient were revealing and poignant. For that alone, I recommend the book. She was very brave to publicly hang out her psyche to dry.
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Granted, the author warns that these are composite patient profiles but I've read at least 4 or 5 other therapy/self-help books, and those stories came across as much more genuine (Quiet Power, Susan Cain; The Joy of Half a Cookie, Jean Kristeller; Art & Fear, David Bayles; Let It Go, Peter Walsh). By about the third appearance of a given 'character', I found the case studies that Gottlieb outlined became boring. It was as if there were example categories of each type
Gottlieb's personal struggles were candidly explained and the insights from her own counselling as a patient were revealing and poignant. For that alone, I recommend the book. She was very brave to publicly hang out her psyche to dry.
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LibraryThing member BoundTogetherForGood
I really enjoyed this non fiction selection. In it, Gottlieb alternately goes from describing a few of her patients and their current struggles, to describing the struggles she is going through, herself. The enlightenment she attains is lovely. I better understand the need people sometimes have for
We have used a therapist for two of our children, briefly. One was overwhelmingly unhelpful, while the other, though for only 3 sessions, was helpful and got dialogue going in the right direction.
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talking with someone outside their inner circle. We have used a therapist for two of our children, briefly. One was overwhelmingly unhelpful, while the other, though for only 3 sessions, was helpful and got dialogue going in the right direction.
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LibraryThing member foggidawn
Reeling from an unexpected breakup, therapist Lori Gottlieb realizes that she also needs the benefits of attending therapy. In the meantime, she continues to work with her own patients, including a narcissistic man, an elderly woman who is threatening suicide, and a young newlywed who is dying of
I enjoyed this book. I've never undergone therapy myself, but I've been thinking lately that I ought to, so I was hoping this would give me some motivation to start that process. I think it succeeded in that, in placing therapy in a positive light and reassuring me of the benefits. Gottlieb's part of the story was very personal, and I admire her for placing so much of her inner life on display ("hanging her psyche out to dry," as a fellow reviewer so aptly put it). I did find myself sometimes wondering, "Why did she include that detail?" Also, there's a bit of unresolved business, which ought to be expected in memoir (vs. fiction), but which I found a bit unsatisfying. The parts with her clients seemed much more polished and cohesive in comparison, which makes sense because she notes at the start that she has carefully curated, compiled, and edited those accounts to preserve the privacy of her actual patients. If you are interested in this sort of memoir, curious about what therapy might be like, or enjoy reading about people working through deeply emotional issues, I would recommend this book.
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cancer.I enjoyed this book. I've never undergone therapy myself, but I've been thinking lately that I ought to, so I was hoping this would give me some motivation to start that process. I think it succeeded in that, in placing therapy in a positive light and reassuring me of the benefits. Gottlieb's part of the story was very personal, and I admire her for placing so much of her inner life on display ("hanging her psyche out to dry," as a fellow reviewer so aptly put it). I did find myself sometimes wondering, "Why did she include that detail?" Also, there's a bit of unresolved business, which ought to be expected in memoir (vs. fiction), but which I found a bit unsatisfying. The parts with her clients seemed much more polished and cohesive in comparison, which makes sense because she notes at the start that she has carefully curated, compiled, and edited those accounts to preserve the privacy of her actual patients. If you are interested in this sort of memoir, curious about what therapy might be like, or enjoy reading about people working through deeply emotional issues, I would recommend this book.
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LibraryThing member joyhclark
I was so excited to read this, as a psychologist myself, but something about it just bugged me. I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it's the fact that Gottlieb obviously comes from a fairly psychodynamic background, and I found myself rolling my eyes at times, especially when some dream
Overall, though, I did enjoy the author's interactions with her patients. She does accurately portray the empathy, and even love, that therapists often feel for their patients. It's impossible to remain fully objective, to not feel somewhat emotionally invested in their healing. It's also nice to see a book about therapy - of all things - at the top of the bestseller list!
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interpretation happens, or when she mentions the id without bothering to mention that such concepts are not backed by science (they are, in fact, not falsifiable). It could also be the fact that these patients obviously have resources and can afford ongoing therapy sessions. No insurance company in this country is going to allow the ongoing therapy mentioned in this book, so it paints an unrealistic picture of what the majority of Americans can expect. I don't want to knock the great work that was obviously done with these patients, or Gottlieb's experiences, I just wish she would have mentioned this caveat. Psychotherapy is often associated with a stigma (granted, it's getting better), and portraying the "ideal" does not help our image.Overall, though, I did enjoy the author's interactions with her patients. She does accurately portray the empathy, and even love, that therapists often feel for their patients. It's impossible to remain fully objective, to not feel somewhat emotionally invested in their healing. It's also nice to see a book about therapy - of all things - at the top of the bestseller list!
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LibraryThing member hemlokgang
Okay, here's the deal. I am a retired psychotherapist. A friend recommended this book to me. I listened to the audio version for about an hour (don't recommend the audio version because the reader is annoyingly perky), then decided to stop. I agreed with and liked everything I heard, but I am the
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wrong audience. This would be a very interesting read for anyone interested in the life of therapists and the way their work and personal experiences intertwine. I have lived it and really do not want to read about it. However, I emphasize that what the author says rings true! Show Less
LibraryThing member bobbieharv
I heard her on NPR and was very taken with her. Loved the book until partway through when her tone seemed to change. She'd be recounting her experience as a patient; the helpful things her therapist would say; and then all of a sudden she'd become didactic: explaining to us what "we therapists" do.
I very much enjoyed her accounts of her own therapy, and those of her patients, but mixing the two - the professional and the personal - didn't quite work for me. (If it weren't for this, I would have given it 5 stars)
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Almost as if she was showing off for him (in case he was reading!). I very much enjoyed her accounts of her own therapy, and those of her patients, but mixing the two - the professional and the personal - didn't quite work for me. (If it weren't for this, I would have given it 5 stars)
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LibraryThing member breic
A fun story, if a bit drawn out. Gottlieb seems determined to somehow cram in a kitchen sink of psychology topics, and resorts to a highly artificial narrative structure to do so (where she delays bringing up her own issues, just as do her clients). I was not particularly attached to her therapy
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patients, particularly since she says at the beginning that they are fictional constructs. So the very drawn-out conclusion was not very meaningful. Still, an overall interesting perspective from a therapist. Show Less
LibraryThing member pagewright
Brilliant.
LibraryThing member nmele
Gottlieb is herself a therapist and although she presents her memoir as a somewhat comic account of seeking therapy after a breakup, her book is full of insight and a very good picture of the life of a therapist. Her characters range from the tragic to the inspirational and her growth as a person
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and a therapist are related on parallel tracks that often run parallel or even on the same single track. Well worth reading and pondering. Show Less
LibraryThing member strandbooks
I’m so glad my book club is reading this and that I bought a copy so I can push it on people. I need to talk about it! It’s non-fiction/memoir (sort of*). It is by Lori Gottleib who is a therapist after a round about career to get there including being a screenwriter on ER. She has a bad
Lori is speaking next week at Bookbar. I will definitely be going to see her.
*for patient privacy she changed a lot of details and in some cases put multiple patients challenges into one patient story. The author’s note says “All changes were carefully considered and painstakingly chosen to remain true to the spirit of each story while also serving the greater goal; to reveal our shared humanity so that we can see ourselves more clearly.”
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breakup in the beginning and realizes she needs therapy herself. Throughout the book it is her sitting on her therapists couch and then her being the therapist. The patients she sees show that we are all trying to get through something. She easily puts in explanations of how we deflect/defend/transfer emotions and how therapy works to fix that. I got so attached to many of the patients I got frustrated for them, felt happy when they figured things out, cried a few times.Lori is speaking next week at Bookbar. I will definitely be going to see her.
*for patient privacy she changed a lot of details and in some cases put multiple patients challenges into one patient story. The author’s note says “All changes were carefully considered and painstakingly chosen to remain true to the spirit of each story while also serving the greater goal; to reveal our shared humanity so that we can see ourselves more clearly.”
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LibraryThing member nyiper
Although it reads almost like a novel, Lori Gottlieb managed to present the picture of "therapy" from a personal as well as a professional point of view and she manages to show that absolutely everyone has "issues!" Yes, I found myself thinking exactly that....about myself....as I read through the
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stories she presents of people and the whole picture of what therapy is and what it tries to do with and for a patient as well as for the therapist. It is a very readable and entertaining book because it's all about people being people---with their good, their bad and their ugly features presented. Show Less
LibraryThing member christinegrabowski
This was such a well-written, well-researched book. In a nutshell, Lori intertwined her experience with her therapist into several stories about her own therapy patients. The stories made me both cry and laugh and want to get to know her patients. The book gave me a new appreciation for
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psychotherapists, and reading it was like my own form of therapy. By sharing the struggles that her patients (and herself) have gone through, it's easy to see universal themes and relate to their struggles as well as their healing. I highly recommend this book. It was tough to put down because I began to root for her patients' recovery. Show Less
LibraryThing member rglossne
Therapist and advice columnist Lori Gottlieb's entertaining memoir is a look at the therapeutic process. We meet some of her patients: a young woman with a terminal cancer diagnosis, an older woman who believes that she has nothing left to live for, a hot TV executive dealing with a lot of
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repressed emotions. Gottlieb herself is reeling from a bad breakup, and seeks therapy. She lets us in on the process of finding a suitable therapist and how she goes about moving forward. Revealing and engaging. Show Less
LibraryThing member quirkylibrarian
Highly readable, insightful and funny.
LibraryThing member Welfycat
A thoughtful examination of what it’s like to be in therapy, and what it’s like to be a therapist.
LibraryThing member Katyefk
Very useful book. I learned all about the background of what goes on with this therapist (and probably others) in the treatment environment. I really enjoyed the stories of the clients and how the author used their issues and experiences in therapy to show us all what is going on "behind the
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scenes" within them and with the therapist. Show Less
LibraryThing member nicole_a_davis
This book surprised me. I wasn't expecting much. I didn't select it, but read it for a book club. I didn't know anything about it so I was expecting it to be like a self-help book, and of the self-help books I've read they've never been good reads. This was surprisingly engaging and eloquently
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written. It wasn't terribly compelling though, it really just came across as a long plug for doing therapy. Show Less
LibraryThing member shazjhb
Not my usual style. She took the easy route speaking about her breakup and avoiding writing about more difficult issues. Needing therapy for the first time when you are over 40 focusing on a break up did not ring true
LibraryThing member BDartnall
Just so well done - a surprise to me, thinking it would be so "clinical" and more dry, but by Part 4, I stayed up late to finish it - compelling client stories, interesting explanations of psych concepts via the practitioners/experts of the past, and esp the growing unveiling of the author's own
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"issues" and her struggles - I found myself (eBook edition) figuring out how to copy and save key quotes throughout - not so easy with first a library edition that expires!!! and then the Kindle edition, which yes, I paid for, in order to finish this fine book. Ultimately uplifting- could be a very very interesting book club read. Show Less
LibraryThing member KimMeyer
This is a total Kim's wheelhouse book: introspective and full of stories but also kind of practical and a peek behind the scenes. You come to love the people in it like characters in your favorite novel.
LibraryThing member KarenOdden
Insightful, compassionate, and engagingly written, this is a memoir of a woman who is both in therapy for herself and providing therapy to her patients in Los Angeles. For me, the book recalled the years I spent in therapy in New York, when I was in graduate school in my early thirties, with so
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much to learn about my own misbegotten assumptions and poor communication and coping skills. Much of this material felt familiar--the role of the therapist, the process of corrective experiences that help us to question our assumptions, discovering the space after an "event" and before a "response" in which choices are made, and identifying the ways we sublimate, repress and misdirect our feelings. But despite having seen much of this up close for myself, I enjoyed spending two days (it's a quick read, with short, economically written chapters) in this woman's mind. Show Less
LibraryThing member jgmencarini
Two quick things about this book:
1. Loved it. Took copious notes. Was crushed when it ended.
2. I want to be Lori Gottlieb’s best friend immediately. What an authentic voice!
1. Loved it. Took copious notes. Was crushed when it ended.
2. I want to be Lori Gottlieb’s best friend immediately. What an authentic voice!
LibraryThing member libraryhead
Highly readable and thought provoking.
LibraryThing member tjsjohanna
I really loved the way the author weaved her own personal therapy journey with the stories of some of her patients. It gave meaning to the principles she was illustrating about the process of therapy. The other thing I found so valuable about this memoir was the chance to question my own behaviors
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and thought processes. Great example of a well done memoir. Show Less
LibraryThing member bookczuk
Absolutely fascinating from many angles. Pandemic read.
Awards
BookTube Prize (Octofinalist — Nonfiction — 2020)
NPR: Books We Love (2019)
Chicago Public Library Best of the Best: Adults (Selection — 2019)
Language
Original language
English
Original publication date
2019