The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

by Elaine N. Aron

Paperback, 1997

Status

Checked out

Collection

Library Notes

You can find this book:
Hamilton Public Library
(hard copy available, library card required)
Scribd.com
(subscription required - this is a newer version)
Audible.ca
(subscription required. This is a newer version of the book)
Indigo.ca
(purchase required)

Description

Psychology. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. Self Help. HTML: "Must reading. Her balanced presentation suggests new paths for making sensitivity a blessing, not a handicap."�??Philip G. Zimbardo, Ph.D., author of Shyness: What It Is, What to Do About It Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams? Is time alone each day as essential to you as food and water? Are you noted for your empathy? Your conscientiousness? Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you? If your answers are yes, you may be a highly sensitive person (HSP), and this is the life-changing guide you'll want in your toolbox. Over twenty percent of people have this amazing innate trait. Interestingly, a similar percentage is found in over a hundred other species�??because high sensitivity is a survival strategy. It's also a way of life for HSPs. Dr. Elaine Aron, a research and clinical psychologist and an HSP herself, helps you grasp the reality of your wonderful trait, understand your past in the light of it, and make the most of it in your future. Drawing on her many years of study and face-to-face time spent with thousands of HSPs, she explains the changes you will need to make in order to lead a fuller, richer life. Along with a new Author's Note, the latest scientific research, and a fresh discussion of anti-depressants, this edition of The Highly Sensitive Person is more essential than ever for creating the sense of self-worth and empowerment every HSP deserves. "Elaine Aron has not only validated and scientifically corroborated high sensitivity as a trait�??she has given a level of empowerment and understanding to a large group of the planet's population. I thank Dr. Aron every day for her having brought this awareness to the world."�??Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, teacher "Aron's book is not a fly-by-night self-help tome,… (more)

Physical description

251 p.; 5.48 inches

User reviews

LibraryThing member seph

I knew from what I'd heard of this book that it was a book for and about me, so when I started to read it there was just a sort of comfortable affirmation. There were a few early chapters that were way too heavy on the psycho-babble to sit well with me, talk about regressing to your infant self and

trying to imagine how you saw the world, then a whole long chapter about your "infant-body", a term that just made me want to throw the book every time I came across it (which was quite often). I've figured a lot of this out for myself over the years though, so I suppose if this was all new information to someone, this approach could be useful. I also thought the overall tone of the book was a bit coddling and/or condescending, but I suppose a lot of people need that kind of hand-holding in therapy, and the book was written by a psychologist.

Once I got past those chapters on early childhood there were enough moments of stunning revelation that reading this book proved to be an invaluable and life altering experience for me. Most of the experiences in my past that still troubled and/or puzzled me are re-framed in a new way now that I can see how differently things would've likely played out if I weren't such a highly sensitive person. I am deeply at peace with myself and my past like I never would've thought possible. I no longer suspect/fear I'm half crazy. Most importantly, I can see the benefits to having this kind of a nervous system, and I now have an even better awareness and some new tools for getting a grip when the world starts to overwhelm me. I am relieved, soothed, educated and prepared.

I've always thought it would be awfully handy to have an owner's manual to give to my loved ones so they might better understand why I get in certain moods and say and do certain things. I've found two books previously that filled that need extremely well, and this book is definitely volume three of my personal series of owner's manuals. I truly love this book for the changes it's brought about in how I think about myself, my history and my future.

Show Less

9 more

LibraryThing member luvdancr

While, I expected more insight from this book, I did discover that there really could be other people out there who seem to feel the way I do. I hoped this book would offer me some insight as to why I feel that way, but it really didn't. It just said that I do feel this way...and that's all I'm

going to be able to do about it.

Show Less

LibraryThing member JudyCroome

When today's frenetic world overwhelms me, I often find myself thinking of Willian Wordsworth to myself:
"The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;—
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!"

So, the subtitle

of this book ("How to thrive when the world overwhelms you") had me buying a copy immediately.

Although, I found it hard to read and, at times, Aron's habit of talking to a Highly Sensitive "Inner Child" was distracting, there was much useful information included in this book, particularly in helping to identify whether one is or isn't an HSP. By the end of the book, I did feel more accepting that what I've always seen as my "silly neuroses" are rather symptoms of having more fluid psychic boundaries than some other people. My new mantra from this book is "boundaries take practice!"

Some interesting observations about how today's (Western) culture places a higher value on more aggressive, less sensitive types and how HSP's are more spiritually attuned (rather than bound by religion) made this a worthwhile read.

Show Less

LibraryThing member Lady_Lazarus

I was skeptical about the existence of "highly sensitive people" before I even read the book and I still am. I am as skeptical about the existence of "introverts" and "extraverts" and as Aron states, only a few people can be clearly defined as either one. This, and because one third of the "highly

sensitive" are "extraverts", I find it somewhat strange that Aron excludes all but introverted HSPs from her study. (Also, she says in the book that the extraverted HSPs can only relax when surrounded by people - and I am left wondering how it is even possible for such a person to survive and does Aron understand extroverted HSPs at all?)

Although I don't identify myself with HSP or introverts/extraverts (and I don't think it is even necessary to have such categories), I could identify with most of the description of HSP (I believe anyone could). However, I didn't find it helpful. Perhaps I read it too late, but I think I already have traveled further into my inner world than the book could take me.

Some of the irritating traits/parts in the book:

1) References to the age (under 2 years old) that no one can possibly remember. Yes, this is the age when we are at the most vulnerable, but as I cannot remember the time, I cannot make peace with the things that took place then. I can talk to my parents, but their view point is subjective and I know what they did, they did from their hearts, no matter how wrong things might have gone. So I would rather concentrate on things that I can do something about than mourn the past. Sadly, the book gave little for this.

2) The part where Aron tells how HSPs can learn to communicate with the world. Really? Earlier she had stated (several times) how HSPs are intuitive and have an urge to please others - combine these two and you won't have to tell an HSP what other people want to hear. They should know it better than anyone - even if they are stressed and cannot act according to their knowledge. Later in the book there is a part where Aron tells hints how to talk to a doctor - similar hints could be useful for a normal conversation as well. At least I find myself so stressed in social situations that I often forget what to say and I feel a need to retreat to think over what the other person has said before I can answer.

3) The "test" where you go over your childhood traumas. I cannot understand how anyone, HSP or not, would not suffer from childhood poverty or sexual abuse. If HSPs get "traumatized" easier (or just react more strongly) to negative things than non-HSPs, I think the test should have been modified to include examples that were not so extreme - something that others perhaps didn't even notice or laughed about, but shattered the trust of someone described as HSP. There were also other "extreme" examples throughout the book that pushed me back a bit: although this book was supposed to offer some condolence, these examples just told me (once again) that "no, you cannot feel like this (or like sh*t) because you didn't suffer any real trauma in your childhood".

4) There are several moments when I doubt Aron actually understands people and their different motives/drivers and their distinct backgrounds at all. For example, the above mentioned "test" asks if there were fighting in your home when you were a child. For me there was no fighting, I was praying for fighting for five years, I was praying for anything that would stop the deafening silence. I hate stereotypes and simplifications and there are lots of them in this book, although it states several times that not everyone is the same.

Overall, the book had a way too condescending approach for me, and I was left wondering how so many people claim that it has changed their lives. It didn't change mine, but it still gave me something to think about (at least enough to write this).

Show Less

LibraryThing member john257hopper

This is the second significant book I have read about HSPs/introversion (though this author doesn't like the latter term). I didn't get as much out of this as I did out of Susan Cain's excellent Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. There was rather too much about the

raising of children, brain chemistry and other subjects for me. Also, I didn't care for the author's insistence that HSPs are almost a separate species of humanity. She sees HSPs as about 20% of the population, as opposed to Cain's introverts making up between one third and one half, so the subject audience of the book is not identical, though any of the same issues arise. While I self-identify as both an HSP and an introvert, I didn't get a great deal out of this book.

Show Less

LibraryThing member Cheryl_in_CC_NV

Read enough to know that this would have been wonderful if I'd read it back in the day. ?�

I do still appreciate the more [one] avoids stimulation, the more arousing the remaining stimulation becomes." ?Ã¡I must bear in mind that my desire to escape into hermitude is not actually an appropriate or

healthy goal.

I will do the exercise at the end of the chapter on medications: "What I would change if a safe pill would change it."

I can't read this library copy more thoroughly, though, because the previous owner read it with a cat on her lap and I'm allergic. ?Ã¡I'm certainly aroused with irritation now! ?Ã¡Thank goodness I'm at a pretty good place in my life now, and I was able to enjoy the newer, somewhat more scientific book, the GR winner Quiet, recently."

Show Less

LibraryThing member saresmoore

This book is highly informative in an area that it essential for a small portion of the population. Aron's writing is verbose and thorough to a fault—I ended up skimming many sections of the book, especially the case studies—and it could have benefitted from better editing or additional chapter

breaks. Overall, I greatly appreciated the perspective presented and the opportunity to learn more about myself and other Highly Sensitive People in my life, and to be given permission to function as a person who is often viewed as abnormal or flawed.

If you think you are a Highly Sensitive Person or are in a close relationship with one, I would recommend this book as a library perusal at the very least.

Show Less

LibraryThing member LisCarey

Everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes. Too much is happening, too much information is incoming, you just can't cope. It happens to everyone.

It happens to some of us far more often than it does to most people. We are more sensitive--to sound, to lights, to activity, to voices, to some or all of them,

and we need the time and space to process what we're taking in.

This is often described as "shyness," or "over-sensitivity," or "introversion," and in western culture is often considered a flaw. Confident, active extroversion is valued and admired. The lower level of sensitivity to stimulation is more common, more typical of most people.

Those of us who have the greater sensitivity may start getting negative messages very early. "You're too sensitive." "Don't let it get to you." "You're over-reacting." Too much of this, too early, can lead to life-long anxiety and depression. Yet this is not inevitable, and this greater sensitivity has advantages as well as disadvantages.

The highly sensitive person is taking in more information. Noticing things others don't. Processing the subtle and the easily overlooked.

Learn to use this, in yourself or in highly sensitive friends and colleagues, and you and those around you can benefit, making better decisions in both personal and professional life. Highly sensitive individuals are often the writers, musicians, artists, and can also be the people who see new opportunities, unmet needs that some innovation can meet--ways to create a new business or enhance an existing one. They may not want to be the public face of such an undertaking, but they may be the best equipped to be the creator and the beating heart of it.

Aron has a great deal to offer about the ways sensitivity can be associated with anxiety and depression, but also the ways in which that is far from inevitable. Highly sensitive children raised in families that understand their sensitivity and support them in learning how to process the world usefully grow up healthier and more stable than other children. Highly sensitive children are, on the other hand, more severely affected by childhood traumas that the less sensitive children may quickly shrug off and put in the past when they're over and life is stable again.

But, again, the amount of useful support a highly sensitive child gets in coping with those traumas can make an enormous difference.

There's some verbiage here that I find annoying and unhelpful, but that's most likely personal taste in the kind of language I like and find useful to me. There's a wealth of information and guidance here for the highly sensitive person trying to learn how to function happily and effectively in a world that often finds us weird and flawed. It's potentially a life-changing book--and yeah, there's some overblown verbiage from me, but there you go. Sometimes you need it!

Highly recommended.

I bought this book.

Show Less

LibraryThing member SandyAMcPherson

One of the most invaluable books available for the HSP personality. Clear and precise language to explain this personality type.

LibraryThing member Castlelass

The author started studying what she calls the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) in 1992. She counts herself among HSPs and estimates it pertains to 15 to 20 percent of the population. “Most people ignore sirens, glaring lights, strange odors, clutter and chaos. HSPs are disturbed by them.”

I was

interested in this book to find out more about people that experience “sensory overload” in situations with lots of sights and sounds, such as arcades, casinos, and even department stores. They need significant amounts of solitude in order to recover. The root cause is the sensitivity of the person’s nervous system, which is more easily overwhelmed in a stimulating environment.

She opens this updated version with the science behind her own studies and that of others. An initial test will help readers determine if they fall into the HSP category. The bulk of the narrative is targeted at self-help. The author is trained in Jungian psychology and it shows in the jargon she employs. Some of it was a bit too “New Age-y” for my personal taste, but I did find it worthwhile. If you or a significant person in your life may be an HSP, this book will provide useful information.

Show Less

Fewer